Our 103rd Dad in the Limelight is Joe Brazier of Manhood vs. Dadhood. I want to thank Joe for being a part of this series. It has been great connected with him and now sharing him with all of you!
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
My name is Joe, I’m 30 this February. I have been a lot of things in my life: college athlete, grad student, teacher, coach, husband, father, friend, Christian, American. The aspects of my life I am most proud of have remained being a husband and a father. I am in the limelight because I grew up with my mom and step-dad, and met my bio-dad when I was 22, and when I was 19 I realized I was fatherless (due to failings and absences), and that has left a hole in my soul. I have a blog about searching for manhood without knowing the directions to get there. I also look at how manhood and dadhood seem to be in opposition to one another in American culture.
2) Tell me about your family
My wife and I have been married for 6.5 years. We’ve known one another and our families since childhood, and didn’t pursue a relationship until going to college in different states. We have a 4 year old daughter and a 1 year old son. We are most-likely done having our own children, but we both feel that it is a strong possibility to adopt in a few years. We are not sure if we’d adopt from another country or from within the US; I think we’re leaning towards another country.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
The largest challenge I’ve had in being a father has been in not having mine around for support or help. My step-dad (who raised me) has proven himself to be a man I cannot trust around my kids, and a man I will not have around my kids. Whatever relationship we once had, is completely gone; that’s all I can say about that. My bio-dad (whom I’ve only known for 7 years) has not been around, and because of that, he does not know how to be around. The death of his father 8 or 9 years ago prompted him to try and repair relationships with his own brothers and with his sons he has not been in contact with for over 20 years.
In place of a supportive father figure, I’ve had my oldest brother (by 15 years). And even though he does not take the place of a father figure for me, he has offered some advice and support that has been helpful. But having to become a father without one to get support from or validation from is most challenging for me.
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
The best advice I can give is for fathers to love your wife. Our children learn A LOT about relationships from what they see us do. I 
work with secondary-aged school kids and they are trying to figure out how to understand themselves, how to understand their friends, and how to understand the other gender. They will relate to the opposite gender how they see us relate to our wives, and they will expect to be treated (this is HUGE for dads of girls) the way they see us treat our wives. Love your wife, openly and appropriately in front of your children. Let them see that this wonderful woman is the center of your life, and they will grow to love a man (or become a man ) that does the same.
5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.
I have a really simple answer for this. I do not balance it; my family is my #1 priority. I’ve been a dad-blogger since October 2010, but I’ve been blogging for just a couple years now, and I do it in between the family activities. I enjoy being around my family… my wife and kids… too much to let something take me away from them.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
I have learned that being a dad who loves his wife, and is engaged with his children puts me in an elite group of men I’m proud to associate myself with. I’ve learned that we do not have to be perfect, but we do have to keep trying. I have learned that NOTHING can replace the love of a father.
I knew I loved kids, but I didn’t know how much I would enjoy the 0-18 months stages of my kids. Seeing the growth happen at such a fast rate is amazing, and I’m glad I was able to be around to see it.
What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
The most memorable experiences have been the family trips we’ve taken. We have not had the luxury of fitting our lives around our kids, so we’ve had to throw them into our lives and they’ve been awesome. When my daughter was 18 months old, my sister-in-law got married in Greece. So the whole family made a trip out of it and we took our daughter to Greece. She got to play in the Mediterranean, and see the Akropolis. We took both of them to Cali, and Canada and we’re going to Minnesota this summer, and maybe Portland. We are not wealthy by any means, but we feel that the experiences are worth so much more in the long run. The best thing I get to experience now is my two kids playing with and enjoying one another. My parents fostered competition among my siblings so we never got along very well. I love to see them getting along.
If you have any questions for Joe, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
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