Our 99th Dad in the Limelight is Brian Thomas of the Cheek of God Blog. I want to thank Brian for being a part of this series. It has been great connected with him and now sharing him with all of you!
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
I’m 42 years old and I have a really awesome unibrow. That is my only claim to fame. The hair between my eyebrows. Don’t believe me? Check it: http://thecheekofgod.wordpress.com/2008/11/01/the-taming-of-the-brow/ As for the limelight? I work at Edy’s Grand Ice Cream in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Which means I am in the proximity of insanely large amounts of ice cream for twelve hours each day. Those Nestle Drumsticks you love to eat? We make those. And those little bitty cones that taste like s’mores? We make those too. If you live west of the Rockies, then we’re Dreyer’s. Regardless of where you are, we’re delicious.
2) Tell me about your family
I wife and I will be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary this June. Cards, especially ones stuffed with cash, are welcomed! Together, we have four children. Two boys and two girls. The youngest is ten and the oldest is seventeen. Yes, all of our kids are double-digits now. What few hairs we have left are gray. We also have two dogs and a cat. The gerbils and Walmart fish died.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
Dealing with the fact that there will come a day when you can’t beat your kids at video games anymore. Seriously, I think it’s the inevitable day when you realize that there is only so much you can teach your kids. A moment comes when they decide to assemble all that I’ve given them into one giant conglomeration, and take it for a spin. They will tinker with it and make adjustments, and it will never be the same as when I gave it to them. Will it keep them safe? Will it protect them? Give them courage to face what they have to face each day? I am at my best when I realize that the parts I give them are just parts, and they decide what to keep and what to toss aside. One day, their lives will speak of what I’ve given them. I hope that conversation makes sense . . .
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
Smile more. And not in a condescending way. Kids can smell that tripe a mile away. See their lives as evolving works of art and smile that you have the privilege to watch them come to life.
5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.
There was a day when I was in the limelight, so to speak. I worked as an operations manager / announcer at a radio station and had the opportunity to attend / host many events for our listeners. My kids were little then, so they didn’t see me as anything other than their dad, the guy who occasionally talked to them on the radio or mentioned them from a stage. Now, I am under the radar. My skill set is limited. I spent more than a year unemployed. And now I help make the ice cream. Every day, they want to know what flavor I helped make. Or if I brought any home. And I also write a blog, which has put me, and them, out there for all to see and read about. But at the end of each and every day, I am here. Ready to hug them before bedtime or read to them or play a game or watch a movie or talk about girls. Or boys. I am the same goofball that loves them so much it hurts, and that will never change.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
To talk gently. I can be boisterous. Overbearing. Outright loud. And kids have tender ears. And hearts. So speak softly . . .
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
There are no more diapers, strollers, car seats, sippy cups, or blowouts. And yet nothing much has changed. They are still precious to me. And I know that when I get home, they are running to the car yelling for Daddy, even if only in their hearts . . .
What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
Holy crap. There was the Father / Daughter dance, where I snuggled with my youngest, literally sweeping her off her feet, and cried like I’d invented it. Or the funeral where my eldest sat on the front pew and strummed his guitar, writing a song that only he knows the words to. Or the boy that runs sprints and does burpees and wears that awkward head gear because he knows that grandpa loved wrestling, would have loved to see him wrestle, but isn’t here anymore. Or the daughter who curls up with a favorite book, one that she’s read a hundred times, and gets so wrapped up in it that she slides off the couch, like her old man did once, and will probably do again before the end. The end. This life is so short, and each moment is memorable if you make it so.
If you have any questions for Brian, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
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