Dads in the Limelight – Matthew Peregoy (@realmattdaddy)

My name is Matt Peregoy, and I am a husband, father and blogger (TheRealMattDaddy.com). After graduating from college in 2005, I found myself selling newspaper, magazine and online advertising.  As many of you know, the newspaper industry is not a very secure place to work, and my newly created position was eliminated in 2008 after just 5 months. When I worked at the paper, I was also working part-time for America’s largest farm and ranch retailer, and they offered me a position as Assistant Manager.  I worked my way up to Store Manager in just over a year, and I lead my store to achieve both sales and profit plan.  Things were going very well at work, I was getting bonuses and awards, but, at home, things were not going so well.  That’s when I decided to step OUT of the limelight and become a stay at home dad in order to save my family.2) Tell me about your family

I am married to my amazing wife, Amy, and we have a fifteen month old daughter, Johnna.  We get to spend much more time together now that I am home, and we enjoy taking walks through the Civil War battlefields near our home in Gettysburg.  My wife works full-time as a social worker, and she is very good at it.  When we realized that our marriage was suffering because I was always working, we talked about how to create more family time, and none of those plans involved America’s largest farm and ranch retailer.  She received an offer back in April, and the rest is history.3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

I knew early on that I wanted to write about this experience of being a stay at home dad.  Not just for entertainment of the masses, but so that I would have a written memory of these times with my daughter to share with her later.  Being the business man that I am, I was trying to be gung-ho at blogging and fathering, and that does not work out well for anyone involved.  I had to decide to be a father first and a blogger during nap time or Sesame Street.  I had to stop trying to be the busiest man in town and just be a good dad.  That gives me plenty of material for the blog anyway.  I now post twice a week and promote the blog once per day either on Facebook or Twitter.4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

If you are married, take time to talk to your wife!  Take the pulse of your marriage and family every once in a while.  Find out if it’s working the way you want it to.  Tackle any problems head on before they get too big to overcome.  My wife would always be asking me when I was coming home, and what I couldn’t hear her saying was, “I need you here.”  I would say things like, “I’ll be home when I get things wrapped up here at work.” And what she heard was, “Work is more important that you and our child.”  I was so busy trying to “provide” that I was neglecting the other responsibilities of a husband and father, like supporting, encouraging, and leading.  It is incredibly difficult to lead when you are never at home.5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.

My wife and I have always been a great team.  We complement each other very well.  We know the goals that we have in mind for our family, and we do what it takes to achieve those goals.  I recognize that her job is difficult and stressful and try to talk with her and get her mind on other things when she gets home.  She knows that our daughter is a strong-willed child, and she appreciates my patience.  She is always eager to take over baby duty and let me participate in activities outside the home like softball and church music ministry.  I have no problem being a daddy on the weekends too if she wants to go out.  We work together to make sure that we don’t end up in a situation that is toxic.  That’s the reason we made the decision for me to stay home in the first place.  Home life has become our number one priority, and anything that interferes with that is carefully scrutinized.6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

There really are some amazing dads out there!  Our community of online fathers is ready to embrace you, dad!  Men still need to feel connected and have other guys pat them on the back, even if it is a virtual pat.  We still want to feel like we are a part of something bigger, and we want an audience to brag to, laugh with and make fun of what Christina Aguilera is wearing on The Voice.  All you have to do is reach out, and there are tons of guys out there to support and encourage you through the adventures of fatherhood.  You are not alone!

Never think that you have it all figured out.  I learn something new every day about being a better parent.  Today’s environment provides our children with more challenges than ever, and it is our job to do the best we can to guide them through it.  Make efforts to read constantly, and read with your children too.  Educate them so that the world doesn’t have to do it for you.8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

Seeing my daughter go from vegetable, to rolling over, to scooting, to crawling, to walking and now to climbing has been amazing.  She has developed such a big personality with such a small vocabulary, and it really is going to be great to see what the future holds for her.  What else?  Well, her proficiency of animal sounds is astounding.  Her refined palette, which includes disdain for vegetables and an affinity for insects, still baffles me though.