Our 200th Dad in the Limelight is author of Man Shoes Tom Watson. I want to thank Tom for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.
1) Tell me about yourself (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers’ knowledge).
Hi. I’m Tom Watson. I’m a husband, father, business owner, motivational speaker and the author of Man Shoes (www.manshoes.net), a book written as a journal for my sons after I suffered a stroke 8 years ago, which has turned into a successful 5 star rated book on Amazon.com. In the past year, I have appeared across North America on TV and radio, discussing the concepts in the book. As a child I journeyed through 13 different foster homes and was finally taken in at the age of 5 by an elderly couple– a retired preacher and a retired teacher. Who knows why they took me in as they entered their retirement years – but they did and I attribute much of m own personal success in life to the fact that the Watsons sacrificed much of their retirement to raise a child from the ashes into a productive contributing member of society.
2) Tell me about your family
I’m a husband to Kathy Watson. Kathy is my second wife. I was married to Darlene Watson who died at the age of 28. Darlene and I shared two sons together – Brad who was 4 and Kelly who was 2 at the time of her death. Kathy came into the boys’ and my life as a friend at first – and over a period of time became an amazing support to us. To my great surprise, Kathy fell in love with me and I with her. We married in the summer of 1993 and in the spring of 1994 our third son, Jordan Watson, was born. Our son Brad is 24 years old; our son Kelly is 22 years old and our son Jordan is 17 years old. We have a great dog named Radar (after Radar from the TV show MASH). Kathy and I celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary last summer and she has become my greatest friend and supporter over the time we have been together. I am a blessed man to have such a great family.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
I have enjoyed some very good professional success. I’ve built several successful companies; I have a successful speaking career and my latest professional effort – my book Man Shoes – is gaining attention across North America. Professional success comes with its own set of demands. I would say that the single most difficult challenge I have faced as a husband and father is to sustain the balance in my life that is required in order for my family to succeed. It’s the challenge of learning to “be there” for my wife in body and in mind, ensuring that Kathy and I have a strong, vibrant relationship; learning to “be there” for each one of my boys individually (each son is very different so I have had to learn that “being there” for one son may be very different than “being there” for another). Finally, it’s the challenge of learning to be there for my family as a whole. It took a long time for me to figure out the importance of “being there,” but I can say that the more I focus on being there for my family the better I do in my professional life. A happy home life has translated into a successful, happy professional life.
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
If you’re married, spouse first, children second. I believe it is extremely important to build your family on a firm foundation. For me that foundation begins with my chosen partner, my wife. I believe that if Kathy and I are strongly united and in tune with one another, our family is more likely to be grounded on a firm foundation and our sons will be more successful because of the security they feel within the foundation of our family. I live by the saying, “A happy wife translates into a happy life.” That has worked for me.
For those men who are separated or divorced already, I think my suggestion would be to try to work with your ex-partner to create a supportive climate between the two of you – for the sake of your kids. In this situation, the formula of putting your children first and you and your spouse second would encourage both of you to do what’s best for the kids.
5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.
Being in the limelight is a blessing and a challenge. My goal is to inspire men and women to pursue their best life, so being in the limelight allows me to impact more and more people with my message which is exciting. With that said, being in the limelight is a demand on my time and it takes me away from my family from time to time. The key I have found is to make sure that I am even more intentional about setting aside time for each family member individually – and the family unit as a whole. I have had to become more creative as I attempt to remain present and relevant to my family. In some ways, the challenge of making my time count with my family has increased my effectiveness as a father. In some fashion, I think we all take for granted the time we spend with our family and friends. Sometimes when we believe that our times together are never-ending we don’t make the most of them. My family and I know that there will be times we are apart and so we communicate more intentionally and I believe we are more productive while we are together than we used to be when the professional demands on my time were less.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
The key thing I think I have learned is that we all face many similar challenges. We are not in this journey alone. In my experience, unfortunately I have found that men tend to not communicate with one another about the challenges we are facing and so at times we do feel alone. So to all you dads out there, you are not alone! The answers to many of your questions are usually just a communication away with another husband and father. I’ve learned to reach out for advice – and admit that I really don’t have all the answers. That’s been a great lesson to learn!
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
Don’t blink! I remember when we were at the height of parenting – going to bed some nights and just wishing I could get my life back and do something for me. It sometimes seemed like this parenting thing was going to last forever. What I have come to realize is that before I knew it, my kids have grown and I’m looking back and wondering how the heck did those kids grow up so fast! We think we have our kids for so long at home – 18 years or so – but in reality our children tend to start drifting away from us in their early to mid teens. Friends and social activities become key components of their lives and that often means that Mom and Dad are no longer the be-all and end-all for them. In reality, many of us begin to lose our kids – before they actually leave our homes and strike out on their own. What I realize now is the importance of building with the kids in their early years, because once you get into the mid-teen years it is very difficult to make up time and moments. The kids just get so busy with other things. I’m grateful that I learned that lesson early enough that I am able to say that Kathy and I have very strong relationships and history with our boys today. Our boys make time for us now – because we made time for them as they were growing up. I know a lot of parents who cannot say the same thing about their children today. So remember: Invest in your kids early. Don’t blink they’ll be gone before you know it!
What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
Becoming a parent was unquestionably one of the most exciting moments of my life. Holding my sons – each one – after birth was an amazing moment. My two oldest sons (Brad and Kelly) have graduated from high school now and our youngest son (Jordan) will graduate this coming spring (that’s hard to believe!). I think the most amazing thing – the most memorable moments – I have experienced in my life as a dad are the moments when my sons as babies, as children, as teens and as adults have told me that they love me. For all those times when I wondered if I was a good enough dad, all those times I wondered if I had spent enough time, played hard enough with them, supported them – the words “I love you, Daddy,” “I love you Dad,” “I love you Pops,” “I love you old man” coming out of their mouths are those moments that I will never forget. They are the moments I look forward to. They are moments that validate that even though sometimes I wasn’t perfect as a dad, I did enough to earn my children’s respect to be honestly rewarded with the words “I love you, Dad.”
If you have any questions for Tom, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
——————————————————————————————-
New to the Divadom?
Please Subscribe to my RSS Feed! Subscribe in a reader
Questions?Drop me a line at dadofdivas@gmail.com
