Our 197th Dad in the Limelight is Paolo Pugni. I want to thankPaolo for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
I’m 51, married since 1985 with Franca. We’ve got three kids aged from 25 to 19. We are both consultants, that’s why we are striving nowadays in the turbulence of the crisis, and we both work as volunteers in a parenting association connected with IFFD. We are also senior speakers for education subjects and we use to travel around Italy and Europe for conferences and seminars. We wrote a bilingual blog (Italian AND English) about parenting.
2) Tell me about your family
We married when we were really young: Franca was 22 and I was 24. So we’ve been able to raise an early family: Andrea, our son, was born just 12 months later and Chiara and Letizia, our two daughters, completed the family in the following 6 years. It’s quite funny now to deal with adult kids, who shares interests and support us in our professional jobs.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
Trying to find out the right balance between love and education: I mean between teaching, setting guidelines, saying no, punishing –of course all when necessary and in an healthy way- and being caught by tenderness. Which actually it’s not love but search for… audience.
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
Do not resign from your role, do not dilute your role: we do not have to prepare the path for our kids, but our kids for the path. Which mean being rulers and coaches.
5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.
It has been a thought challenge all my life long. I’ve spent many days and nights away from home on business trips. And that’s not all: I spent my professional competencies also in several volunteering activities, sometime very close to where my children “used to live”, as an example in their school. So I had at the same time to balance my outside life with their life and the fact that I was very popular in their environments, and that was not exactly what they liked, being always known as Paolo’s kids…. You know what I mean. What we tried, working as a couple, was to find out quality time, almost all the time spent at home was for the family, and for the kids, and involve them in our activities so that they could feel the family touch.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
To be very solid and love your kids helping them to form a strong personality. I learnt that to make them happy you have to give them what they need not what they want
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
Never give up, never forget you have a duty a very serious duty towards your spouse and your kids. Don’t be afraid to show your weaknesses, and to apologize when requires.
What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
It’s hard to find just one. I had several ones, I’m very lucky. So let me just tell you the last one I had, on twitter where my daughter suggested to follow my account on the usual #FollowFriday activity, and she wrote: #FF FollowFather: the father whom everyone dream of and would like to have, and who is MINE. What else would you desire?
If you have any questions for Paolo, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
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