Our 208th Dad in the Limelight is Max Long. I want to thank Max for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)Hi, my name is Max. I’m a father of 2 and husband of 1. I’ve also been in the United States Navy for a little over 13 years now. I started out as a lowly Seaman Recruit in boot camp, but I’ve managed to work my way up, and I’m currently a Lieutenant enjoying some well deserved shore duty in beautiful San Diego, CA.
I recently started a blog called Military Dad (http://militarydadblog.com). I try to write about fatherhood and family from the point of view of a service member, and I try to write about the military from a father’s perspective. I had an unorthodox beginning to blogging, but I’ve fallen in love with it, and there’s nothing I enjoy more than talking about my two passions: my family and the Navy.
2) Tell me about your family
I have been married for almost 8 years to a woman that initially only liked me for my car. She’s the love of my life, and I can’t imagine being without her (I still have the car, just in case).
I also have 2 kids that are my reason for everything. Our daughter is 5 years old and one of the smartest people that I have ever met. Her younger brother is 2 years old, and there’s absolutely nothing that can slow him down. If I were to start over and someone asked me what I wanted my children to be like, I would make absolutely no changes from what I currently have. They are amazing and I am truly blessed to be a part of their lives.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
My biggest challenge probably involves managing my expectations. Both our my kids are so bright and so quick to pick things up that I forget how young they are. I start expecting them to excel at everything, and sometimes, I get frustrated and angry when they actually act their age. I constantly have to remind myself that they are only 5 and 2 years old.
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
I’ve developed a practice over the years that has served me very well. Whenever I am really frustrated with the kids or physically exhausted to the point that I can’t give them the attention they need, I simply lie down on the floor. It’s amazing how much they love the fact that I’m there, even if I’m not moving a muscle. They can climb on me, drive cars on me, or just read me books. It keeps them completely entertained, and it’s really not very taxing for me. My advice would be that when all else fails, just lie down on the floor.
5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.
With regards to the Navy and family, I try to keep my work at work as much as possible. If I need to vent, I’ll wait until the kids have gone to bed. My hours aren’t always convenient, but this helps to ensure that I enjoy the time that I do have with the family.
With regards to the things besides work and family, I am truly blessed by the fact that my wife is also my best friend. I don’t need bowling nights or weekend golf trips because I would much rather stay home with the family and watch movies in my pajamas. Therefore, when I’m at work, I’m at work, and when I’m at home, I’m at home. It works well for us.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
I’ve learned that fatherhood is much more of an art than a science. There are no perfectly right answers, and there are multiple ways to achieve the same thing. Every father is different and every child is unique. What works for me won’t work for others. While there are obvious examples of bad parenting, there is no clear blueprint for being a good father. As long as you care, things will fall into place. The biggest thing I have learned is to not judge others because their methods are different than mine.
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
Being a father is the hardest thing that I have ever done. It’s the only thing that has ever kept me up at night questioning myself. Fortunately, it’s all worth it just to see the smiles on their faces.
I would also say that the word “home” has taken on a different meaning for us as a military family. In her 5 years of life, our daughter has lived in 6 different houses, 5 different cities, and 3 different states. As a result, it’s difficult to pinpoint a geographical location for what most people think of as home. My home is where my family is. The buildings around us and the things that we own are nothing more than shells designed to keep us safe and happy. It’s great to know that no matter where I go, as long as my family is there, I’m home.
What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
When I left for my 3rd deployment, our daughter was 12 months old. When I returned 6 months later, I was expecting to find the same little ball of chub that could barely walk and said about 10 words. When we were unloading the car, I asked her to take a pillow into the house. She looked at me and said, “ok, daddy.” Then she turned around and actually did it. It was such a tiny moment, but half a year’s worth of change was encapsulated in that one response. While I was a little upset because I had missed so much, that feeling was overshadowed by the immense amount of pride that I had for her. It is something that I will never forget.
If you have any questions for Max, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!
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