Our 198th Dad in the Limelight is Jason Roberts. I want to thank Jason for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
2) Tell me about your family
Jason Roberts, 42
married to Aimee Roberts for 18 years
five kids: Caitlin, Ian, Paige, Holden, Ainsley
Virginia Beach, VA
Planted Crosscurrent Church 9 years ago — this is my 17th year in occupational ministry — worked on Young Life staff, as well as church staff’s in VB and Florida
Interests — we are a sports family — spend a lot of time on the soccer and football fields and on the beach. I coach soccer as a hobby and slight obsession.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
There are two things my brain immediately went to when I read this question so I’ll include both.
On an ongoing basis the biggest challenge I have to being a godly father is my own idolatry, especially the idol of comfort. I live in a constant tension and battle against my hearts proclivity to serve, worship and fight for comfort. As a father with five kids who all have activities, opinions, and their own idolatry this is a challenge. If I don’t live in ongoing repentance and faith my heart will gravitate towards pursuing and fighting for my time, schedule, interests, etc. Instead of investing selfless time and energy into the careful care and training of my children I often find my heart responding in frustration, stress, selfishness and being short fused. I’m grateful for the Gospel and the remind that Christ did not seek his own comfort and instead of selfish ambition and conceit he emptied himself, took the form of a servant and went to the cross.
The second thing is more of an event that challenged us more than anything else but also has shaped us in profound ways. When my oldest daughter was 4 (11 yrs ago) she was diagnosed with a Wilms Tumor, a childhood kidney cancer. She is doing great now but at the time it was a life shaping event. There are so many details I could go into but it was a huge challenge for us as we were confronted with questions related to our faith.
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
Remind yourself of the gospel daily. As Calvin wrote, “our hearts are idol factories” and we need to constantly remind ourselves of the gospel so we can confront our idols of comfort, control/security, power and approval. Being a parent will expose all the things we love the most and what we’ve built our life upon and often what we discover is that what we love the most or depend on the most is not God. All the good things that we look to as the ultimate things in our lives will not support the weight of our lives and if we continue to depend on them, worship them, serve them we will be crushed. We need to remember the gospel so we can live in ongoing repentance and faith.
Along with that the gospel is our greatest hope. I keep thinking about the reminder in 1 Corinthians 15:58 that in light of the gospel (creation, fall, redemption & restoration) that we can stand firm, immovable, giving ourselves fully to the work of the Lord because our labor is not in vain. As a father who works hard but struggles and stumbles along as a father this gives me great encouragement to press on and to keep laser focused on my vocation of the home. When I fail my hope is the gospel. When I succeed it’s because the gospel is sanctifying me. When I fear I can be encouraged by the gospel. When I doubt the gospel renews my faith. When I’m frustrated with my child’s behavior my goal is the gospel not morality. This is absolutely vital as a parent.
5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.
First I have to understand my vocations. I have to remind myself that God has called me to invest my life into the areas of home, work, church, culture. There really isn’t an option to drop any of these.
Second, because these are all part of my calling I need to figure out how to invest the limited time I have into these callings. For me this means that I overlap my time in all four of these areas. For example because I believe that I am called to live my life on mission, to declare and display the gospel to those who are without the gospel, I spend a lot of time with non-Christians. But because I don’t have a lot of time to do this I overlap my callings. So most of my non-Christian relationships are with people that I’m already meeting through my kids activities. Our goal as a family is to make the most of our time by carrying the gospel into ordinary life. Steve Timmis and Tim Chester who wrote “Total Church” talk all the time about “living ordinary life with Gospel intentionality” and this is what we’re trying to do as a family.
Third I have to say no to a lot of good things. I can only do so many things well so when people offer me opportunities I have to constantly weigh whether or not it fits into what I’m being called to do and whether or not it will pull away from my most important responsibilities.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
The time fly’s by. I know we hear that all the time and when our children are toddlers the time sometimes can’t move by quickly enough. However I have two teenagers now and I feel like we blinked and they grew up. Enjoy what’s in front of you and the place of life you’re in now.
Also stop seeing your kids as an obstacle to overcome but rather an opportunity to invest in for the rest of their lives. God has entrusted this child(ren) to you. They are a gift. Invest in them and stop fighting against them or seeing them as an obstacle to your hopes and dreams.
If you have any questions for Jason, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
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