Our 276th Dad in the Limelight is auth, speaker and real-estate agent Carmen Elefante. I want to thank Carmen for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
Thank you for considering me as a candidate for your blog. You and I have the same mission, letting the world know and help to change the sterotyping of fathers. We do nurture, care, love, feel ,hurt, cry and want to make a difference.
I am a Father of two adored daughters, I almost put in two little girls but after the last couple of years of ‘DAAAD we are not little girls’ (12 and 14 ). I have learned to introduce them as simply my beautiful daughters. I am a top producing real estate agent in Niagara Falls, author of being a Great Dad
it’s in your hands and public speaker
2) Tell me about your family
The three most important women in my Life are: my beautiful, devoted, caring and forgiving wife Dina. My courageous, brilliant, and beautiful daughters Vanessa and Victoria.These women teach me lessons everyday and inspire me to be better and do the right thing.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
The largest challenge is there are no rule books out there for fatherhood. No guides that describe what to do in each situation in Life.We’re all born blank slates and then we learn what we are taught and what we see or what we teach ourselves. Often we repeat the same things, or the same patterns and mistakes passed on by our parents and caregivers. This could mean if we were ignored,we will ignore, if we were abused we will abuse, if we were mistreated, we will mistreat. I say ” could” because i don’t believe it is fait accompli. Not everyone who has a rough childhood grows up to repeat the same behaviours with their children, the cycle can end. That contract can be broken, and things can change. Changing and breaking the cycle has been my biggest challenge as a father and learning what triggers are real or from the past.
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
I would advise all fathers to get a copy of my book and read it over and over until it finally sinks in. No fathers can say no one told me, There is alot of great dads out there ,but we are all works in progress..I
am as well. It is my great hope that the fathers who desperately need to work on their fathering skills will read my book and use the, lessons, stories, and activities in it to start a new path to relevant fatherhood.
5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.
I believe that you need to put your children in the limelight and they need to feel that the most important part of your life is them. I have interacted with hundreds of fathers not just through my book but also in Real estate. I have learned that alot fathers feel they don’t know what to do with there children or how to act around them. They are not sure of what to do or how to be, though they all seem to want to make change and become better and I help them to do this.
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
Question seven is the reason I wrote my book. Therefore I would write a novel in response to this question. However my experiences thus far have been one of true peace in watching my children sleep peacefully, true joy in watching them take there first steps, exhileration in there accomplishments, love from a deeper place I never knew existed. Compassion for a hurt knee, tolerance for someone hurting them, kindness to someone they love, open arms for huge hugs, understanding for being told to keep quiet, contentedness in watching their favourite movie, happiness in there smile, honesty so they become honest, forgiveness so they in turn learn to forgive, and kindness so they learn to give and receive.
8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
I have so many memorable experiences that I would not be able to pinpoint one. Everyday of my life has become a happy memory because of my family. I will share this with you though, Vanessa said to me last week “Dad I finally figured you out, your not an adult….. just a really tall kid!”
If you have any questions for Carmen, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!
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