parenting Archive

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Witches, Goblins and Ghosts – Halloween Safety Tips for Your Little Monsters!

By
dadofdivas
– October 29, 2010Posted in: parenting

Halloween Safety Tips That Are No Trick: Orthopaedic Surgeons offer Halloween Injury Prevention Tips

OVERVIEW:
Every Halloween, kids across the country parade neighborhoods in search of the most glorious prize: candy.   The build-up for Halloween is almost as exciting as the day itself with pre-Halloween festivities like pumpkin-picking, pumpkin carving and selecting the perfect costume for the big day.  And though the holiday calls for fun, the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons (AAOS) stresses the importance of taking proper precautions to avoid injuries this Halloween.

STATISTICS:
A nine-year study examined holiday-related pediatric emergency room visits between 1997 and 2006.  Results of this study show Halloween among the top three holidays producing the most ER visits:

  • Finger/hand injuries accounted for the greatest proportion of injuries on Halloween (17.6 percent).
  • Of the finger/hand injuries sustained on Halloween, 33.3 percent were lacerations and 20.1 percent were fractures.
  • Children ages 10-14 sustained the greatest proportion of injuries (30.3 percent).

    Source:  D’Ippolito A, Collins CL, Comstock RD. Epidemiology of pediatric holiday-related injuries presenting to US emergency departments. Pediatrics. 2010 May;125(5):931-7.

AMERICAN ACADEMY OF ORTHOPAEDIC SURGEONS SAFETY TIPS:

  • Never let children carve pumpkins.  Adults carving pumpkins should remember to use specifically designed carving knives, rather than kitchen knives, as they are less likely to get stuck in the thick pumpkin skin.  Carve the pumpkin in small, controlled strokes, away from oneself on a strong, sturdy surface.
  • Carving knives should be kept in a clean, dry, well-lit area.  Any moisture on the tools, hands, or table can cause the knife to slip, leading to injuries.
  • Should a pumpkin carver cut a finger or hand, make sure the hand is elevated higher than the heart and apply direct pressure to the wound with a clean cloth to stop the bleeding.  If continuous pressure does not slow or stop the bleeding after 15 minutes, an emergency room visit may be necessary.  Additionally, it may be wise to follow-up with a hand surgeon to make sure everything is okay and nothing needs repair.
  • Be considerate of fire hazards when lighting jack-o-lantern candles or use non-flammable light sources, like glow sticks or artificial pumpkin lights. Alternatively, try painting pumpkins for a fun, creative option and removes the risks of carving.
  • Halloween costumes should be light and bright, so children are clearly visible to motorists and other pedestrians.  Trim costumes and bags with reflective tape that glows in the dark.
  • Costumes should be flame-resistant and fit properly. Be sure the child’s vision is unobstructed from masks, face paint or hats.  Costumes that are too long may cause kids to trip and fall, trim or hem their costumes as necessary.
  • Children should wear sturdy, comfortable, slip-resistant shoes to avoid falls.
  • It is important that children walk on sidewalks and never cut across yards or driveways.  They should also obey all traffic signals and remain in designated crosswalks when crossing the street.
  • Trick-or-treaters should only approach houses that are well lit.  Both children and parents should carry flashlights to see and be seen.
  • Be aware of neighborhood dogs when trick-or-treating and remember that these pets can impose a threat when you approach their home.
  • It’s also a good idea to carry a cell phone while trick-or-treating in case of an emergency.

AAOS EXPERT ADVICE:

“It’s so important to realize that there is a wrong way to carve a pumpkin!  You should always use a carving knife, carve away from the body and never rush.  It’s possible to cut tendons, particularly when your finger slides down the knife and the knife gets stuck in the pumpkin” said Elizabeth A. Ouellette, MD. “For this reason, children and adults should not carve pumpkins with kitchen knives.  Besides the potential dangers from pumpkin carving, parents and kids need to be aware of their surroundings, and instinctually participate in activities safely, no matter the holiday.”

About the AAOS at http://www.aaos.org

http://www.Orthoinfo.org

Follow the AAOS on http://Facebook.com/AAOS1 and http://Twitter.com/AAOS1

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Dads in the Limelight – Clay Nichols

By
dadofdivas
– October 24, 2010Posted in: Dads in the Limelight, fatherhood, parenting

Our 69th Dad in the Limelight is Clay Nichols of Dad Labs. I want to thank Clay for being a part of this series. It has been great connected with him and now sharing him with all of you!

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
 
I’m Clay Nichols, Co-Founder and Chief Creative Officer at DadLabs.com, a publishing and production company creating content about being a father.  On the site you can find me hosting videos. Lots of videos (we have almost 600 in our catalog). I blog a bit, and manage our Twitter account (@dadlabs, @daddyclay).  Over the years I’ve done lots of other writing as well — feature articles, co-author of two books, about a dozen or so plays. 

2) Tell me about your family

 
I’ve been married to my wife Kim for 14 years, and we have three kids.  My son Wilson is 12, my daughter Riley is 9 and my son Cooper is 6. We live in Austin, Texas on the campus of a boarding school — which is an unusual (and great) environment to raise kids. Family meals are central in our lives — my wife is an amazing cook and I chip in some grilling — but we’re a bit sports crazed at the moment. Team obligations are putting family traditions to the test. We spend summers on Cape Cod, and have a weakness for Disney parks.
 
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
 
We had a rocky entry into parenting — my oldest was a preemie, born at 32 weeks. My wife was debilitated by the emergency c-section and a bout of post partum depression brought on my the disappointing and stressful birth (we had planned on a natural childbirth with a midwife).  I was pressed into service; overseeing medical treatment, feeding, offering “kangaroo care” to my tiny newborn son.  My world completely shattered and reformed in the course of a fortnight.
 
By the time my son was released from the NICU, I emerged as a different guy.  I knew that being a dad would be far more important to me than anything else.  
 
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
 
Unfortunately, our society requires men to make sacrifices and challenge stereotypes in order to create deeply meaningful relationships with their children.  Make them.  Challenge them.
 
5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.
 
Fortunately, my business is about being a dad, which is really good at keeping me honest in terms of my priorities. There is never a question around here if one of the dads needs to take off to care for a sick kid or attend a teacher conference (which happens pretty often).  Travel is definitely a pain point for me and for our family.  To grow the business, which is at least in part a benefit to our family, I need to attend conferences (where you meet really cool bloggers like Dad of Divas) or go to face-to-cafe meetings. But with all the games and with my wife’s work schedule (she has regular weekend dorm responsibilities), being out of town takes a toll. So we share in the office, rotate the traveling team, and try to avoid travel when possible.
 
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
 
That dads dislike and defy categorization. That they appreciate acknowledgment for the increased participation in the household, whether it be from partners, kids or brands. I think most dads feel the pinch of this new role — moms expect more, but the outside world isn’t relinquishing its demands on our time — and that we’re looking for ways to get some props and find some fellowship, support and information. Mostly I find that dads enjoy a good laugh and care a lot about their families.
 
What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
 
I don’t really trust any of my conclusions because my parenting is a work in progress.  It does seem to me that my time invested when the kids were young (I was a SAHD for my oldest) has paid off in terms of my knowledge of the basic working s of their day-to-day lives and my relationship with them. So I would recommend that to other dads — invest as much raw time as you possibly can.
 
What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
 
Vacations come to mind — the Cape and Disney.  I still think some of my best moments as a dad have come in the back yard with the sun going down, at the grill, good music on, glass of wine in hand. Those are some of the best times for me.

If you have any questions for Clay, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

——————————————————————————————-
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Questions?Drop me a line at dadofdivas@gmail.com

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Dads in the Limelight – Nathan Nelson

By
dadofdivas
– October 17, 2010Posted in: Dads in the Limelight, fatherhood, parenting



Our 67th Dad in the Limelight is Nathan Nelson. I want to thank Nathan for being a part of this series. It has been great connected with him and now sharing him with all of you!

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge

      I am 33.  My wife Laura and I both grew up in relatively small hometowns (hers very small with only one traffic light) in Ohio.  We met freshman year of undergrad at The Ohio State University after she went on a single date with my roommate.  Luckily, in the long run things worked out well for me as Laura and I have been married 10 years. 
We waited a fairly long period (eight years) before having our first child for a number of reasons, primarily related to the amount of schooling that we endured.  I married Laura the summer after finishing my undergraduate degree at The Ohio State University.  I majored in physics (and ultimately finished with that degree) but soon realized that physics was a bit abstract and I wanted something more hands-on.  My wife was always interested in veterinary medicine, so after a few years of physics classes, I decided vet med interested me as well and applied for admission. 
In 2000 I started veterinary school and was a year behind my wife (who started in 1999).  Vet school was a lot of work, with many stressful trials and tribulations, but also a lot of fun.  The four years went very rapidly but I soon decided that what interested me the most was radiology.  It was a good blend of physics, high tech equipment, and patient care.  I graduated vet school in 2004 and went to Michigan State University’s veterinary school for a rotating internship.  As part of that internship, I circulated through surgical, oncology and internal medicine services, but it was my radiology rotation that really cemented my interest in that specialty. 
Finally, in 2005 I returned to Ohio State to start a three year residency training in veterinary radiology.  Like vet school, this required a huge time commitment for studying and working in the clinic, but it was extremely rewarding.  As a radiologist, I get to work with all species of animals (except humans of course!).  OSU has a big variation in types of animals that come through the clinic though I primarily worked with cows, horses, cats, dogs, alpacas, and ferrets.  Luckily, some zoos would also work with us, so I occasionally got to see a red panda, wolverine, electric eel, otters, and several types of monkeys. 
In 2008, I passed my board certification examinations qualifying me as a Diplomate of the American College of Veterinary Radiology which allowed me to look for jobs elsewhere.  My wife (who is now a board certified veterinary surgeon) and I returned to Michigan State University’s veterinary school and haven’t looked back since.  Since starting work, we decided that the time was right to start a family.  Am I glad we waited so long to start our family?  I am glad because it meant we didn’t have to split our time between kids and study, but it also gave Laura and I time to cement our relationship with a lot of quality time between each other.

2) Tell me about your family

I have a wonderful family.  Laura and I have a lot in common and have similar parenting styles and philosophies.  Laura is a great cook and actually enjoys working with food, unlike myself.
We have a daughter, Claire, who turns two very soon.  Her verbal skills are really developing quickly now, which is a lot of fun.  Her first word was “dog” and her second word is “cat”, which probably isn’t too surprising given the household in which she lives.  Our son Paul is nearly four months old and is very close to being able to roll over.  He has started to smile and laugh which Laura and I enjoy tremendously.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
Making time to foster the relationship with my wife.  This has been especially difficult now that we have two little ones.  We have the daily routine perfected now so that we’re out the door in the morning on time and get the kids to bed at a reasonable hour, but with the daily whirlwind it’s easy to forget to ask your partner “How was your day”?  I don’t know that there is a perfect solution other than to just keep making an effort to keep our relationship healthy.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
Be involved.  I don’t want to be the type of father that only gets involved with discipline or works so much that there is no time for family.  The more time I spend with my family, the more I enjoy their presence.  There are many little joys in even otherwise every day interactions with your kids that you would miss if you weren’t there or off doing something on your own.

5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.

This is definitely a struggle.  Work can demand long hours and can easily take over the home life.  Laura and I have made a conscious effort to separate our work/outside lives and home lives.  We try to be efficient at our jobs and productive as possible so that when we go home, we can focus on keeping the house in order, interacting with the kids, and appreciating each other.  I am glad that I don’t work out of our house because the drive home gives me a chance to mentally switch gears.  If work does get overwhelming or I’m up against a deadline, I’m fortunate to have a very supportive spouse who can help pick up the slack with the kids. 


6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
I’m at an age where a lot of my friends from when I was young are having children.  I think we each  have slightly different parenting styles.  Some use a lot of humor with their kids, some enjoy physical play more, some are more disciplinarian.  The common thread among us all is that we love our kids and enjoy their presence. So, what have I learned?  While there are many ways to raise kids (and I hope that they’ll will turn out ok), the most important part of a relationship with your child is love.


7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
I’m trying my best to enjoy the moments as they happen.  As Claire and Paul get older, I’m struck by how much they have changed.  Claire’s “dada” has transformed into “daddy” and there is no going back.  Paul can support his own head and it no longer lolls around his shoulders like doll.  I am looking forward to the kids getting older and we can run together or discuss books and classwork, but I want to enjoy and remember the age when Claire and Paul were always happy to see me and excited at every new experience. 


8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
Traveling with the kids has been by far the most memorable experiences we’ve had.  Laura and I took a trip to California to visit her brother when Claire was 8 months old.  In many ways, it was the ideal age for travel because she slept nearly the entire flight, was easy to feed, and was happy to sleep wherever we were.  We drove most of the coast of California with her, camping along the way.  One of my favorite photos shows Claire’s little face peaking around the edge of our tent near Redwood National Park. 
Since Paul’s birth, our trips have been limited to those we can take by car.  When he was only a month or two old, we took a family trip to Holland, Michigan.  Both the kids were troopers and did wonderfully during the drive.  Paul was interested in his surroundings and even got to take a trip to the top of a windmill, while Claire enjoyed running around like a maniac making “mooing” sounds to the nearby cows.  Seeing the kids experience new surroundings and enjoy getting out of the house have been extremely rewarding and a lot of fun. 


If you have any questions for Nathan, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

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New to the Divadom?
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Dads in the Limelight – Morgan Taylor

By
dadofdivas
– October 14, 2010Posted in: Dads in the Limelight, fatherhood, parenting

Our 66th Dad in the Limelight is  - Morgan Taylor creator of Gustafer Yellowgold. I want to thank Morgan for being a part of this series. It has been great connected with him and now sharing him with all of you!

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
I’m the creator of Gustafer Yellowgold.  We’ve been putting out DVDs and playing live concerts since 2005.  I’ve been a musician and illustrator my whole life, and I have combined the two for the first time with this project, and it has turned into a surprising career for my wife and me.

2) Tell me about your family
We live in upstate New York and have one son, Harvey, and are expecting another in December of 2010.

We tour the country together doing Gustafer shows, so we have a unique opportunity for family togetherness that  I don’t think “normal” working fathers get to experience.  My wife, Rachel handles most of the business
side of things and I spend most of my time creating the content and performing it.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
I have to admit, I don’t really find any of it a drag or challenge at all, I guess unless you think of it from a time
perspective of simply not having the freedom of unlimited working time. We have a little help, but still need to
balance our time to get everything done since it’s just the two of us running the business. I’m a lucky guy.  I’m either working doing what I love or spending time with my son and family.  If anything is challenging I would say when things fall into a grey area and the family and business sides overlap when I don’t want them to.  Having you own working hours can be a blessing and a curse.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
There are so many different parenting styles, I don’t know that I could give anyone advice, because what works for me and us as a family might be irrelevant or just not possible for somebody else.  Fathering has so much to do with your personality that I can’t just say “practice patience” or “get down on the floor and engage your child eye to eye if they are whining or getting repetitive and naggy”.  Those are things I would advise
though, if you can do them.

5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.
I’m fortunate that I can combine the two so much.   We travel in a van around the country, and we get to sing and listen to music together, and Harvey gets plenty of attention in the car.  On the other hand, his nap time can get compromised by our performing schedule, so sometimes there’s a consistency in schedule that we can always have.  Also, for instance, I have had to get up three times while trying to finish these answers for this interview   and shush Harvey back to sleep while he’s napping with jetlag.  And I’m finishing this interview so I can get back to finishing the artwork for the 10th song for the new DVD we’re trying to finish up before we go on another 3 week tour this fall.  You know, I’m busy like anyone else who works 40+ hours a week but I do it at home and it involves cartoon characters and singing, so there’s always a blur.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
That I we are in a unique position as a touring family.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
I see the ways that I was parented and feel equipped to make sure I do the positive things I liked that my folks did, and avoid stuff I see now that didn’t help me so much.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
Well, certainly the home birth we had of Harvey in 2008, and watching Harvey’s awareness grow molecule by molecule.  He’s a little artist already and has a great sense of humor.  He loves to make us laugh, so we
all win there!

If you have any questions for Morgan, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

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New to the Divadom?
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Dads in the Limelight – Chris Ballew

By
dadofdivas
– October 10, 2010Posted in: Dads in the Limelight, fatherhood, parenting

Our 65th Dad in the Limelight is  - Chris Ballew past lead singer and songwriter of the music group the Presidents of the United States of America and now Children’s music artist Caspar Babypants. I want to thank Chris for being a part of this series. It has been great connected with him and now sharing him with all of you!

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

My name is Chris Ballew and I am known for being the lead singer and songwriter for the multi platinum rock and roll band the Presidents of the United States of America. These days I am known as Caspar Babypants and I make music for the extremely young (HEE! like 0-5 year olds) and their poor tired parents. Its simple acoustic imaginative and silly and can stand repeated listens in the home and car.

2) Tell me about your family

I have 2 kids ages 13 and 10. The 13 year old is named Augie and the 10 year old is named Josie. They are super inspirational! They help me write songs and perform with the band from time to time playing guitar and ukulele. I am divorced from their mom but we get along great now that we are just friends. My wife Kate is an artist and a huge inspiration to make the kids music. Look at her stuff: kateendle.com



3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

The largest challenge I have had is TOUCHING POOP!!!! I did a lot of deep breathing by the floor to get through those diaper years! My new challenge is being a disciplinarian and staying consistent with the rules of the house so that our operation runs smoothly. Dads tend to want to be buddies and fun guys and we loose that opportunity to teach kids where the boundaries really are.



4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

My advice for other fathers would be to give your kids as much of your undivided attention as you can. Don’t read the paper of answer an email while they talk to you about what happened at school that day. Be there eye to eye and face to face with them when you interact.


5) Seeing that you (or your position) is in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

My position in the limelight is only important in that it allows me to reach out and help families relax and sing a song together. I hold no value to the actual famous part. It does not make my day better just to be famous. It makes my day extremely better to get an email from a happy family that uses my music to solve the crying kids in the car problem and reduce their stress. So it is a mean to an end and I teach my kids that idea just by living it. They see me take time to talk to people that are star struck and that is the balance that I want to teach them.



6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

Gotta pass on this one…nothing really comes to mind here…I dont have specific father interaction stories!


7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

Keep your connection with your kids strong. Dads dont have that experience of having that little human come rocketing out of them and living inside them for 9 months like mothers do and keeping that strong connection real is important. I got up every morning with my kids and held them while their mom slept and I love remembering those quiet sunrises.



8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

Well I kind of answered that in the last bit. Those mornings alone with them were so special. There are a bunch of songs for the Caspar project that were born out of those early mornings and just laying the kid out on a blanket and playing the guitar and singing improvised lyrics about how much I love them. The best of times.


If you have any questions for Chris, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

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New to the Divadom?
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Dads in the Limelight – John Porcaro

By
dadofdivas
– October 7, 2010Posted in: Dads in the Limelight, fatherhood, parenting

Our 64th Dad in the Limelight is  - John Porcaro of Dad Central Consulting and the blog I’m the Dad That’s Why, also known on twitter as @JohnPorcaro. I want to thank John for being a part of this series. It has been great connected with him and now sharing him with all of you!

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

I like to describe myself using a few words: Dad.  Marketer.  Writer.  Geek.  Friend.

I’m currently (newly) the Managing Director of Dad Central Consulting, a division of Mom Central, Inc.  My job is to work with bloggers and other influential online advocates, experts, reviewers, or popular folks like CL, to connect them with brands who have products that would be interesting for their readers.

Before starting this venture, I spent 20 years doing consumer marketing at Microsoft.  My last position was Director of Xbox LIVE Member Management, working with millions of customers to deliver news, offers, and information about Xbox.  I set up the official Facebook page (now with more than 1 million members), YouTube channel, and also started the first community-oriented blog at Xbox.  My team ran the Xbox MVP ambassador program, and worked closely to provide inside access to bloggers, podcasters, forum moderators, and community leaders.

I’m also serving on the board of WOMMA, the Word of Mouth Marketing Association, to advocate for brands and agencies to create authentic, credible word of mouth campaigns.    





2) Tell me about your family

I have four amazing kids, an 8 year old girl, 10 year old boy/girl twins, and a 14 year old boy.  I’ve been an active dad in almost all aspects of their lives, and can’t imagine a more important (or more demanding) role for a father.  I’ve been married for 25 years, and have spent my entire life living on the west coast.  I’m in the process of moving to the Boston area.

We have a close family, and all that comes with that.  We live in the country, so our kids spend a lot of time together, since spending time with friends entails driving several miles.  Our kids are all active in sports, and soccer is becoming our “family” sport.  My 10 year old son is goalie of his Premier soccer team, and his brother is goalie for his Recreational league.  My oldest daughter really likes volleyball, and my youngest is interested in picking up soccer this fall.  



3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Every year, I would answer this question differently.  Keeping up with life changes is probably the biggest challenge.  When kids were young, keeping them safe, and healthy, especially when we had toddlers and infants at about the same time, was a challenge.  When they started school, making that change was tough.  Now our older kids are just starting high school and middle school (at the same time), and they’re growing from pre-teen to full-blown teens.  Maintaining a good relationship, being a good role model, and balancing time between four kids is tough.  



4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Wow.  Take things a day at a time.  I’m not sure there’s one trick that works.  Being a father is BY FAR the toughest thing I’ve done, much more difficult than I thought it’d be.  Communication is probably the key.  Keep talking, your kids are listening—even if they don’t look like it.  



5) Seeing that you (or your position) is in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

It’s tough to work 40-50-60 hours a week, or to be on the road all the time.  I made it a point to draw a hard line with my employers, which was always respected.  I leave work to be home for dinner, unless there’s some emergency that prevents it.  I DO NOT check work email once I leave the office—people learned they wouldn’t get an immediate answer if they sent something after 6pm.  On weekends, I left work behind, 100%. That kind of division made it easy to feel like I had plenty of time and attention that I could give my family.  


When I travel, I try to stay in touch as much as possible.  If there’s an event or meeting I’m attending where I could bring one of my older kids, I’ll use my frequent flyer points to bring them along.



6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

What haven’t I learned?  The importance of patience.  The best way to introduce your kids to a certain sport.  The importance of a strong support group of other dads who have gone through what you’re going through.  Puts it all in perspective.  



7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

Be flexible, but have a plan.  Kids like knowing what’s coming up for them, and even though I like to do things as they come up, my kids aren’t always like me.  As they get older, they need to make their own decisions and in some cases, their own mistakes.  



8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

Our four kids are all adopted.  But being there when my twins were born was amazing.  And integrating the others as foster children first made me really respect those that do foster care for a living.  I could name lots of examples, the first time they walked, talked, came to me with a serious “life” question, going to Disneyland or Cancun, or watching the first time my son won a game.  I think every day is a chance to make a memory, and I’m surprised at what my kids consider the most impactful moments of our lives.  


If you have any questions for John, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

——————————————————————————————-
New to the Divadom?
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Questions?Drop me a line at dadofdivas@gmail.com

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Dads in the Limelight – John Taylor (AKA Daddy Yo)

By
dadofdivas
– October 3, 2010Posted in: Dads in the Limelight, fatherhood, parenting

Our 63rd Dad in the Limelight is  - John Taylor of http://www.thedaddyyoblog.com, also known on twitter as @TheDaddyYoDude. I want to thank John for being a part of this series. It has been great connected with him and now sharing him with all of you!

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
My name is John Taylor. I am 27 and live in VA. I am a part time manager and full time cook at a restaurant in town.  Not exactly sure why I would be in the lime light and not out of it. All I know is for some reason recently, I have more followers, readers on the blog, and exciting things going on, and I am just here for the ride and enjoying the connections I have been making with great dads all over the country.

2) Tell me about your family I am married to the best mommy I could ever have for my kiddos. I have 2 children, Caleb who is 3, and Marlee who is 1. They are the light of my life, and the reason I do what I do. We live in a small rural town in Virginia, tucked away in the mountains.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
My hardest challenge has been accepting that I am not perfect at this and that I will learn through trial an error. Times when I feel like I have failed at being a good dad, I have to force myself to stop and realize that this is the job. Dadhood wasn’t designed to be a quick 1,2,3. It takes work.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
That is a really tough balance to maintain. I do my best to make sure my family gets as much attention as say my job, or writing, or whatever else is going on. I make the best out of all the family moments and make sure not to waste one second. It’s a job, but always worth it when the balance is in harmony.

5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.
That is a really tough balance to maintain. I do my best to make sure my family gets as much attention as say my job, or writing, or whatever else is going on. I make the best out of all the family moments and make sure not to waste one second. It’s a job, but always worth it when the balance is in harmony.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
There is OVERWHELMING support out there for dads. There are dads all over the internet, on twitter, through blog readers, or what have you, that are always there, and always willing to share their experiences or offer advice when you need it. I value each connection I have made. We are all brothersin dadhood, if you will, and being taught to know that there are dads just like me willing to lend an ear, has made all the difference. Make connections with other dads and share with each other. It’s the best way to learn and realize that you are never alone!

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
See question 4 haha. Seriously, there is nothing greater in my life than being a father. (and of course being a husband. Hey honey I love you!) Because of my children I have laughed harder than ever, cried harder than ever, and learned more than ever. The future of the world, right in front of my eyes, and right here in my lap. It never fails to amaze me to watch my children play and to have watch them grow over the last few years. Never EVER taking it for granted.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
Definitely the moment they were born and the moment they first smiled and first laughed. I had the pleasure of being present for the birth of both of my children. To first see them, hear their first cute (and soon to be ear piercing) cries, and the first time I held them, kissed them, and told them I loved them. It was the most magical 2 moments in my life. Then came first smiles and first laughs. The signs that they were happy, and perhaps feeling the love. (I cry now as I write this, seriously). Those moments still choke me up inside.

If you have any questions for John, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

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Dads in the Limelight -Tshaka Armstrong

By
dadofdivas
– September 30, 2010Posted in: Dads in the Limelight, fatherhood, parenting

Our 62nd Dad in the Limelight is Tshaka Armstrong - http://www.digitalshepherds.com/blog/, also known on twitter as @tshaka_zulu . I want to thank Tshka for being a part of this series. It has been great connected with him and now sharing him with all of you!

           
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

Hello, my name is Tshaka Armstrong. I’m the lucky husband to an awesome gal and blessed father of three very cool kids. I’ve worked in the entertainment industry as an editor/writer/producer
for the better part of two decades and recently started a non-profit organization with my wife.

Our non-profit’s focus is educating parents about digital technologies in an effort to make them better at parenting in the digital age. Through live demo, interactive lectures and meetings we take the mystery out of the machines and enable them to raise healthy, well adjusted “digital citizens.” 

We are also very involved in the community and are spearheading our first national initiative, the
Daddy/Daughter Tea Date Tweet Up. I don’t think I’m in the limelight for any of that though. As a dad,
I’m always in the limelight because children are students of their parents and are always watching.

2) Tell me about your family

I’ve been married for 14 (this year is our 15th…woot!) years and have a 14, 12 and 11 year old. I say
I’m a lucky husband because my wife really strives to grow and be better as a person always. When we
have issues, she always starts with herself first, asking and considering her part in any relationship
struggles we may be going through and that’s powerful because I know that I can never rest on my laurels
and not grow and learn and be the best man/husband/father I can be. It’s like having a training partner
who is naturally gifted athletically and just, incredible. You know you better stay on your game with them
or you’re going to get left behind.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Up to this point, I would say, being the best father to my daughter that I can be and living an exemplary
life in front of (and away from) the kids. It’s taken some retraining and patience on my wife’s part for
me to get to where I’m at with mine and my daughter’s relationship. I have a tendency to be quite the bulldog when it comes to sheltering her and being an overachiever, I’ve been too hard on her sometimes in different areas of her life. I’ve had to learn to love her for who she is and celebrate her awesomeness instead of pushing her to fit into some mold of my own machination.

With regard to living an exemplary life, it’s easy to tell the children to eat their vegetables and then not
do it yourself. It’s harder to sit at the table and eat and not like eating the same thing they’re eating.
It’s easy to tell them to have portion control on their plates or not eat junk past a certain time of night
and then put a mountain of mashed potatoes on your plate or eat a gallon of ice cream to yourself when they’re all asleep. Walking the walk is the best way to raise children who will model their behavior after yours, but it requires a good deal of self reflection, honesty and accountability. The most important thing it requires is the strength and integrity to make a change when you’re not doing what you should and I hope that I’m getting better at that all the time.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Pray, laugh, learn, read, remember your own youth, love unconditionally, lose your baggage, take care of your physical/mental/emotional health, connect with other dads trying to be their best and rest when you need it.

5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.

Until my children are out of the house, I have no outside life, per se. I see things holistically and all parts
of my existence are intertwined. I work to live, I take personal time so that family time will be that much better and I strive to succeed so that my life, which is God/Family/Tshaka, in that order, will be as fulfilled as possible. I’ve found that by constantly placing my family’s needs before mine, that my needs are generally met. Because I’m really passionate about the work I do for our non-profit, I find that sometimes I need to take a step back, close the laptop and enjoy my family. I think if you listen to your children, balancing all the parts of who we are as dads becomes easier. When a child comes to you and says, “dad, we need you to come play video games with us,” you may not be able to at that exact moment but you make sure that you come back to that sooner than later. If it’s later that evening, or once the weekend hits. You sit down and play for a while, or take them out of the house, or just sit in front of the TV and veg in front of some fun movies or shows with the kids. Let them be close to you, snuggle up against you while you watch. If you listen to those pleas and act on them in a timely fashion, I think you’ll be ok. That’s how I balance things.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

Be faithful, courageous, unrelenting in your personal growth, honest about yourself and consistent in the little things.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

I think I’ve pretty much covered it. Only thing I can think of is don’t ever consider yourself and expert! Your relationship with your children will change as they grow and there’s always something new about them and yourself to learn. The moment you think you’ve got it all down pat is just about the time when you’re due to get flattened by something you didn’t see coming.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

Collectively, we have this family tradition called “Daddy’s Picks.” It’s when we make a big production out of renting and watching one of my favorite childhood flicks. Sitting all together on the couch and being in each others presence and watching them enjoy my childhood favorites as much as I did/do is magical. Well, except for Popeye with Robin Williams. We all hated that and when I told my dad we watched it, he reminded me of how bad he thought it was when he took me to see it as a kid. I didn’t remember that.

Individually, the most memorable experiences so far would be: Taking my daughter paintballing and to tea and watching my sons play sports. When you get them out and doing things that push them or put them outside their comfort zones, you get an invaluable look at their personalities. You get to see them for who they really are; how they handle stressors. That’s parenting to me…seeing them at their best and worst and loving them and correcting them and ultimately, learning from them.

If you have any questions for Tshaka, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!




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Dads in the Limelight – Brian (Chalkboard Dad)

By
dadofdivas
– September 26, 2010Posted in: Dads in the Limelight, fatherhood, parenting

Our 61st Dad in the Limelight is Brian (Chalkboard Dad) – http://www.chalkboarddad.com/. I want to thank Brian for being a part of this series. It has been great connected with him and now sharing him with all of you!

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
A nugget about me? Well, according to my Twitter profile I am a father, a husband, a teacher, a writer, a reader, a Philly sports fan, and a Hyperborean Wanderer. I have been a father for almost six years to the most amazing, tiny, carbon-based female life form on the planet. I am a husband to a woman far hotter than my average schmo mug should ever have been able to snag. She is a kind hearted soul who took a chance, kissed a frog, and changed my life forever after. Next week I adjust my climbing shoes, check my ropes, grab my snake bite kit, and begin my ascent up the mountain of my thirteenth year teaching fifth grade cherubs reading, writing, and history. I have been a reader and a writer for almost as long as I can remember and I have also been a Philly sports fan for as long as I can remember, thirty plus mostly painful, soul sucking years. As far as what a Hyperborean Wanderer is…the first reader who puts the definition in the comment section will receive a special, highly questionable, prize. I am also an avid Disc Golfer and Geocacher.
How have I come to be in the lime light? If it is not for one of the aforementioned reasons, it just might be from my days in the Lichtensteinian secret service…but if I told you about that I would have to kill you with a drinking straw.
2) Tell me about your family
My family is my life. I have long been of the opinion that as men, we have no greater responsibilities on this rock then those to our spouse and our children. I met The Wife at work. She is also a teacher (yeah, I know, our poor daughter). She will be starting her eleventh year in the classroom next week. We have known each other for ten years and have been in the throes of wedded bliss for almost seven. The Peanut came into our lives in November of 2004. She is smarter than me, cuter than me, funnier than me, and more than compassionate than me. She amazes me every day and inspires me to be the best man I can be.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
I hate to sound cliché, but the largest challenge I feel on a day to day basis as a father is dealing with the big tent circus of utter insanity that is the society we are raising our daughter in. She is so very innocent and so very impressionable. Bringing her up and attempting to raise a self-confident, healthy young woman in the era of Lindsey Lohan, Britney Spears, and Lady Gaga scares the Perez Hilton out of me. I struggle, and will continue to struggle even more so as she gets older, with achieving an appropriate balance between shielding her too much from the craziness around us and letting her experience and grow into the padded cell that is the world we live in. This has been my challenge and it will continue to be my challenge, for a great many years.
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
Parenting can be intimidating and confusing. The good news is you are not alone. It is not a sign of weakness to reach out for advice. Don’t think that you have to go it alone. If you don’t have guys in your life you can go to, there are great communities of dads online. Two such places that are tightly packed with excellent examples of modern day fatherhood are www.dad-blogs.com and the Twitter hashtag #DadsTalking. The guys are friendly, funny, and very helpful. On many occasions a dad will throw out a question either on Dad-Blogs or #DadsTalking and, in a manner of minutes, will receive helpful answers and advice on how others dads have dealt with that situation. 
5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.
Being a teacher, a profession where take home work is both expected and necessary, I try to be very mindful of not letting that work supplant quality family time. It is an especially easy trap to fall into since both The Wife and I are educators. We manage to accomplish this by tackling any schoolwork that needs to be done at home after my daughter is down for the night. Apart from special circumstances that require greater amounts of time, such as when report cards are due, this way of doing things works fairly well.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
Wow…how much space do I have? I could write volumes about what I have learned from the fathers I have known. I would think the most significant thing I have learned has to do with the advice I just gave for #4, that being an effective father does not have to be a solo act. I tend to be the kind of guy who often goes out of his way to avoid asking for help. But I have learned that I have many excellent resources, from family to friends (both online and in my backyard) who are doing a lot of positive, successful things as fathers. If I am struggling with a particular aspect of being a parent I know they are there with advice, as I am in turn available to them. The small army of dad bloggers that I follow (such as yourself) are an invaluable resource. When you as a father are neck deep in a parental quagmire it can be a great relief to turn on the computer and read dozens of accounts of guys who are going through exactly the same thing you are. I have also learned that, contrary to the popular stereotype of fathers being bumbling buffoons who can’t even get out of their own way to perform a simple task like grocery shopping or cooking dinner, there is a high number of intelligent, hard working, faithful, capable, and devoted fathers out there and in their company is where I would like to be.
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
As a father, the thing I think I was most unprepared for was the way time suddenly developed a speed habit when my child was born. I had heard parents lament about this phenomena but I always thought they were exaggerating. Not so. No exaggeration at all. My daughter starts Kindergarten in a week and I am absolutely convinced that she was just clutching my finger in her tiny fist in the delivery room LAST WEEK. I used to laugh at people who preached ‘Cherish the Moment’ for being sappy, sentimental milksops. I can man up and admit when I am wrong, and I was wrong. ‘Cherish the Moment’ has become my fathering mantra. The moments are like the smoke from a towering late autumn camp fire. No matter how hard you may try to hold onto them they slip through your fingers, leaving you with only the memory of their passing. ‘Cherish the Moments’ guys.
8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
Again…how much space do I have? If I had to pick a most memorable parental experience out of the thousands I already have and the millions I know are to come it would have to be the opportunity I had to witness my daughter’s birth. Being at your wife’s side as she gives birth to the child you both helped to create is an experience every father should do everything he can to ensure that he doesn’t miss. I was able to be at my wife’s side for the entire experience (she did bite my hand while she was in the midst of particularly painful contractions but considering all she was going through and my total lack of ability to do anything meaningful to help, I got off light). Being present to see my daughter’s entry into this world, to have been there to hear the sweet sound of her first cry, to have been able to be the second person (after mommy of course) to hold her tiny body, is a memory I would not exchange for all the riches the world has to offer. I don’t know what will follow us after the grave, but I am quite certain this memory, alongside the memory of the day my wife and I exchanged our vows, sealing the promise we had made to live as husband and wife, will make it through and stay with me forever.

If you have any questions for Brian, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!


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Helicopter Parent Alert! You’re Okay, Just Make Sure the Flight Plan is Right

By
dadofdivas
– September 25, 2010Posted in: parenting

Helicopter Parent Alert!
You’re Okay, Just Make Sure
the Flight Plan is Right

by Gary M. Unruh, MSW LCSW


You’re all getting a bad rap. Helicopter parents do a lot of good things for their kids. 

You can act fast, swoop in to protect your child at a moment’s notice, and swoop away really fast (great skills for parenting a teenager). And that bird’s-eye view of the big picture really comes in handy.

Best of all, helicopter parents have met two great parenting qualifications: they show a lot of love to their children, and they spend plenty of time with them, often pulling the night shift.

So, if helicopter parents are so great, why all the negative publicity? Here’s why: With all this love onboard, most helicopter parents forget the fine print in their flying manual.

DO NOT HOVER TOO MUCH OR TOO CLOSE TO YOUR KID.

That’s what this alert is about.

MAKE SURE YOUR FLIGHT PLAN KEEPS YOU AT JUST THE RIGHT DISTANCE FROM YOUR KID.

The best flight plans include four parts:

1. Keep your gas tank at least 80 percent full of Unleashed Parental Love at all times. Children thrive when they feel a supportive parent will always be available and when the children feel they are acceptable and understood no matter what mistakes they make. That’s why helicopter parents are so great — their kids can always see or sense their smiling parents somewhere, no matter what happens.

2. Don’t immediately hover too close, or land and take over when your child has a problem. Kids need to learn how to handle failure on their own — when they’re ready. Some stress is important for developing resilience and self-confidence.

3. Do hover close by when your child is first learning to solve something really tough. Success knocks out a problem pretty fast. (Be ready to land if necessary.)

4. Land and command when your child veers too far off the charted course. You know, things like breaking curfew, lying, and destructive relationships. That’s when you land and then discipline firmly and consistently to make sure your child gets headed in the right direction. Expect resistance (rarely will you hear, “Thank you, Mom/Dad, for getting me back on track.”) And one other thing: Don’t land and command or hover too close on personal choices like hairstyle, clothes, etc.

Helicopter parents, I salute you. Stay the course with the right flight plan. Your child’s self-confidence and resilience will flourish.  

Gary M. Unruh, MSW LCSW, is a child and family mental health counselor with nearly forty years of experience. He is the author of the award-winning book Unleashing the Power of Parental Love: 4 Steps to Raising Joyful and Self-Confident Kids (www.unleashingparentallove.com).
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