Guest Post Archive

3

Tips for Living Fearlessly

By
dadofdivas
– February 3, 2012Posted in: Guest Post

Living Fearlessly,
One Week at a Time
by Amber Karlins
Everyone is afraid of something. For my mom, it’s tight spaces. For my friend, Eric, it’s sharks. Studies have shown that the fear of public speaking is ranked higher by most Americans than their fear of death. Rational or not, we’re all afraid of something. Me? Well, I was afraid of almost everything: bees, spiders, rollercoasters…
It hadn’t always been that way. As a child, I was downright fearless.  By the time I was ten years old, I had been draped in vipers at a snake temple in Penang, taken a midnight hike through the Daintree rainforest, and ridden an elephant in Thailand. I was so determined to use the backs of our living room sofas as makeshift balance beams that my mom ultimately had to make a mattress moat around our couches. Somewhere along the way though, I lost my sense of adventure. It didn’t happen over night; in fact, it was so subtle that I didn’t even realize it had happened until my mom pointed it out. After watching my world get progressively smaller, she sat me down, looked me square in the eye, and said, “I think you’re living a small life, and I want more than that for you.”

Prior to that moment, I had never thought of my life that way. But, as soon as she said it, I knew she was right. I was allowing far too much of my life to be dictated by fear, and I was bound and determined to do something about it.
I decided to start by making a list of all of everything I could think of that scared or intimidated me. I was astounded to find that, in less than an hour, I had compiled a list of nearly forty things. It occurred to me that, if I could come up with forty things, it probably wouldn’t be that hard to come up with fifty-two things. It also occurred to me that if I could come up with fifty-two things that scared or intimidated me, I need this project significantly more than I had initially thought.  So, I came up with the idea for My Year of Living Fearlessly.

For the next year, I did one thing every week that scared or intimidated me. Suddenly, I found myself swimming with sharks, taking fire eating lessons, and learning how to escape from a straitjacket. I spent the night alone in a haunted hotel, won a standup comedy competition, and held a Madagascar hissing cockroach. I made crepes from scratch, went bareback horseback riding on the beach, and learned to pull hot glass. Whether I was scaring myself senseless or just pushing myself slightly outside of my comfort zone, every challenge made me a stronger, braver person.
Since completing My Year of Living Fearlessly and writing the corresponding book, many people have asked me for suggestions on how to start a similar journey of their own. Whether you have dozens of fears to face or you just want to live a slightly bigger life, the tips below will make facing your fears much easier and much more pleasant.
Here is how you get started.

1. Start small. This allows you to get used to experiencing and overcoming your body’s fear response.

2. Tell someone. If you don’t, it will be far too easy to chicken out.

3. Be creative. When facing my fear of knives, I decided to forgo the traditional knife skills class and take a knife-throwing class instead. After chopping celery from six feet away, chopping some on my cutting board is a breeze. More importantly, it makes for a much more interesting story.

4. Bring a friend. Everything seems more frightening when you have to do it alone, and you’ll want someone around to help you celebrate your victory when it’s over.

5. Take pictures. If you’re facing a number of fears, you can even compile a fear-facing scrapbook. It’s a great way to remind yourself that you’re braver and stronger than you think. Plus, as I can tell you from personal experience, no one is going to believe you wrestled an alligator unless you have photographic evidence.

Here’s to making 2012 your year of living fearlessly!
4

Five myths about poverty

By
dadofdivas
– January 27, 2012Posted in: Guest Post
Five myths about poverty

By B. Morrison
With almost half of all Americans now falling below the poverty line or considered low income based on the  2010 Census Bureau figures, formerly middle-class families are beginning to experience the reality behind the old stereotype of the “welfare queen”. According to Barbara Morrison, the truth is quite different. In her memoir, Innocent: Confessions of a Welfare Mother, she describes her experience when a failed marriage caused her to plummet from a prosperous middle-class life onto welfare. Part coming-of-age story and part immersion in a foreign culture, this book puts a human face on poverty.
“Poor people make an easy target for politicians who play on thenatural fears of middle-class workers,” Morrison says. She understands and sympathizes, but maintains that in spite of the rare case of welfare fraud repeated ad nauseum in the news, most welfare mothers work tirelessly to get off of public assistance. Morrison seeks to correct misconceptions about poverty and offers insight into these five myths:
* People choose to be poor. This insight was recently offered to Morrison by a woman who is supported by her wealthy husband. In contrast, Morrison herself and everyone she knew during her time on welfare worked desperately to get off of assistance. As her friend, Jill, sometimes cried in frustration, “How bad do your choices have to be before welfare seems like your best choice?”

* They should just get a job. As everyone knows, the job market today is tight, but even in boom times Morrison found it hard to find a job that actually paid enough to live on, much less pay for child care. She cites Barbara Ehrenreich’s seminal work Nickel and Dimed on the subject.
* People stay on welfare their whole lives. Morrison quotes the most recent report to Congress, which says that the average length of TANF assistance received by families in fiscal year 2006 was 35.4 months, slightly less than three years. Furthermore, those receiving assistance were 33.4 % White, 35.7% African American, and 26.1% Hispanic.

* Most people on welfare are drug addicts. This myth is prompting states to demand drug testing of anyone applying for or receiving public assistance, some even making them pay for the tests themselves. Yet a recent Florida study shows that only 2% of welfare mothers are on drugs, comparable to the general population. Even then, Morrison points out, condemning the children to starvation and homelessness is unworthy of us.

* They just sit around drinking coffee all day. Morrison’s memoir evokes the despair and hopelessness that can keep people sitting on the front stoop instead of working to improve their lives. She also aptly describes the endless work that being on welfare entails: spending whole days at the welfare office fighting over checks that had gone astray, patching clothes and darning socks to make them last longer, creating a vegetable garden to feed her children.
Morrison adds that people like to say that she pulled herself up by her bootstraps, but it wasn’t true. Many people reached out their hands to help her, and their help enabled her to become the successful engineer she is today. She treasures her experience of poverty, though, saying that welfare taught her to look beyond the stereotypes, to accept help when it’s offered, and to give with both hands.
B. Morrison is the author of Innocent: Confessions of a Welfare Mother (© 2011) and a poetry collection entitled Here at Least. She is currently working on a novel. Morrison leads writing workshops and is active in several writing organizations. Her work has won multiple awards and has been published in magazines such as The Sun, Sin Fronteras, Scribble, and Tiny Lights. Learn more atwww.bmorrison.com
6

Story-Telling: The Perfect Cure for the Winter Blues

By
dadofdivas
– January 17, 2012Posted in: Guest Post, parenting
Story-Telling:
The Perfect Cure for the Winter Blues

By Thomas Weck
This winter try something different with your children to cure the winter blues. Instead of simply reading to them from the books on their shelf, why not come up with your own story? Storytelling is a time-honored tradition, handed down from generation to generation. In some cases, handed-down stories turn into beautifully written-down tales, decades later as in case of myLima Bear Stories*.

You, too, can create stories either on your own or with the help of your family. The result will not only be entertaining but a source of family memories as palpable as any family vacation photo album.
To get started in creating your family story-telling memories keep these tips in mind:

1. Do not be intimidated. Anything you have to share is going to be interesting to your children.
2. Use what is important to you. If you are super clean, for example, create a character who learns the hard way why cleaning up is important.
3. Use humor. Goofy=happy children
4. Create catchy character names. Catchy names make the story come alive and easily remembered.
Another way to create terrific tales is to let the story unravel by having your family add the content along with you. For example, why not turn the television off on a cold winter’s night and simply start a story much like the old children’s game “whisper down the lane?” Start with a funny scene using material that is obvious to you. Let each family member add to the story and take the story over for a while. Enjoy as you witness the creative juices flowing. Each family member gets a chance to add and embellish until finally a completed story is created. After you get to the end of the story see if family members can repeat the story back. Did the story change? Try the story again using the new embellishments to see if the changes may become permanent changes.
One of the hardest tasks in creating any story is coming up with a beginning to the story. Below are some ideas of story-starters to get you on your story-telling way:

1. Is a holiday near or around a corner? Make your story a holiday tale.
2. Put a twist on a famous fairy tale. If the writers of

Shrek and Enchanted can do it, you can too!

3. Use a topic from the news. A young hero story, for example.
4. A famous writer instructor once said “write what you know,” in this case, “tell what you know.” Use what interests you: a football story, a story about your favorite animal, etc.
5. Tell a story based, loosely or closely on a relative who your children may have never met — what a wonderful way to teach them about someone special who is actually a part of them.
No matter what you decided to base your story on or how you choose to create it, remember that by storytelling you are sharing not only time with your child but a part of yourself. Enjoy making your very own story-telling memories.
Thomas Weck is the author/creator of the *Lima Bear Stories. Originally made-up bedtime stories he told his four children, the Lima Bear tales resurfaced when Weck’s son Peter had children. Peter remembered the stories and wanted to have his father write them down so that he could share them with his children. Father and son took it one step further and created Lima Bear Press to produce the stories as books that children everywhere can enjoy. The first three titles in this award-winning series were released in 2011: The Megasaurus,How Back-Back Got His Name, and The Cave Monster. The books are not only fun and funny with great illustrations, they also have an underlying message such as such as tolerance, honesty, courage, etc. Additionally, each book has an Extend the Learning and an Activity section at the end where children can become active participants in the story experience. More books in the series will be released in 2012. Learn more at  LimaBearPress.com.
3

When Your Kid’s Friends are a Bad Influence

By
dadofdivas
– January 15, 2012Posted in: Guest Post

When Your Kid’s Friends are a Bad Influence

It is only natural that as a dad you may find some of your kid’s friends to be a bad influence. Because you don’t wish to alienate your child or hurt anyone’s feelings, you want to approach the issue with sensitivity and an open mind. Yet, you also want to forestall the building of possibly toxic friendships.

What follow are three types of bad influences along with suggestions for handling each offered by Matthew Goldfine, PhD, clinical psychologist with the Columbia University Clinic of Anxiety Disorders

The Delinquent Kid

As per Goldfine, delinquency can be contagious and your role as parent is to identify specific behaviors of the troublesome child that worry you. These behaviors can include disrespect of adults, vandalism, stealing, bullying, or physical abuse. These kids have little impulse control and will thinking nothing engaging in risky behavior or even running up the family credit card balance without permission.  If you discover that this kid is pressuring your child to join him/her in their activities, it is time to end the friendship immediately.

If you are uncertain regarding the degree of this child’s bad influence, consult with his or her parents and teachers to see if this behavior is repeated at home or school. Alert both the child’s parents and teachers with regard to the type of behavior you have observed. In most cases, they will relate similar stories which will validate your concerns. Be considerate and assume that the parent’s have good intentions. Make every attempt to build a relationship with them so you may each successfully address the situation. According to Dr. Goldfine, barring illegal or overly toxic behavior, allowing your child to hang with a harmlessly mischievous kid (the prankster) is probably okay.

The Annnoying Kid

This is the kid that will leak the news about Santa Claus and explain the birds and bees to your child. This child, more than any other, will strip of your child of his or her innocence. This type of kid may entice your child to take on their mannerism, bully those who are perceived as weaker, and act cruelly toward other children and even animals. As with the delinquent child, look for behaviors that you and your spouse have decided are off-limits. If the kid’s annoying behavior doesn’t progress beyond myth shattering, you can probably address the situation relatively easily by sitting down with our child and explaining things more clearly. You may need to move the calendar up on the birds and bees talk but look on it as a opportunity to correct any misperceptions that s/ he has been told.  Should the behavior be more severe, Goldfine advises that it will again be important to speak with the child’s parents and teachers so you may all arrive at a solution together.

The “Follower” Kid

Feel proud since your child is popular! Elementary age children tend to be highly demonstrative with their social interactions so that their clingy behavior is a sign that your child is someone they desire to be around. This is not really very problematic so it is fine to let your child decide how to handle it. If s/he is comfortable with all the attention, just let it be even through you the behavior is a bit weird. However, if your child is annoyed by this follower and wants to spend more time with other friends, Goldfine advises that you sit down with your child and think about how she can extricate herself from the situation.  One possible solution is for your child to spend time with this needy friend on certain days but visit other friends the remaining days.

One further suggestion to limiting the amount of time your child spends with children you deem a bad influence is to get your child involved in extracurricular activities and sports, so that s/he has the opportunity to meet peers that will exert a more positive influence.

Daniela Baker is a social media advocate at CreditDonkey, where she helps families compare credit card deals to save money.  She’s also a mother of two.  What do you do when some of your kid’s friends are a bad influence?  Leave a comment below.

0

A Preview of The Avengers

By
dadofdivas
– January 10, 2012Posted in: Guest Post

A few months ago, a trailer for The Avengers came out. Many Avengers fans had been waiting months for a trailer to come out, as rumors circulated about the cast of the upcoming movie and what direction Joss Whedon (the movie’s director) was going to taking things in. The trailer was a visually stimulating taste of a great movie to come. Unfortunately, Avengers fans will have to wait until May of this year to enjoy the new movie in its full glory. Until then, we can get excited about what we know about the movie so far. Here are some of the things fans are buzzing about when it comes to The Avengers:

 

  • The movie will include essential Marvel good guys such as Thor, the Incredible Hulk, Hawkeye, Captain America, Black Widow, and Iron Man. Marvel villains such as Red Skull, Hydra, and Loki are also expected to play central roles in the movie.

 

  • The cast includes some of the most talented actors in Hollywood: Samuel L. Jackson, Mark Ruffalo, Scarlett Johansson, and Robert Downey, Jr., to name a few. Rumors are circulating that Gwyneth Paltrow may also make a brief appearance in the film.

 

  • Joss Whedon, creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and other cult classic movies and TV shows, is directing The Avengers. Whedon is a comic book creator and enthusiast. Many fans are hopeful that his passion for comics will make this movie one of the best Marvel adaptations yet.

 

  • The premise of the movie will seem familiar to fans of The Avengers comics. An evil entity threatens to destroy the world, and Nick Fury (director of S.H.E.I.L.D) enlists Marvel comic super heroes as his team of avengers to save the world.

 

  • Based on the trailer, the special effects in The Avengers probably won’t disappoint viewers. In fact, 3D fans will be excited to find out that Marvel Studios recently announced the movie will hit screens in 3D.

 

Marvel Studios is keeping most details about the upcoming Avengers film top secret. Die-hard comic fans can only hope that the movie will do The Avengers comic justice. If you’re interested in The Avengers, be sure to look for new trailers. Marvel just released a new one for German audiences that includes brand new scenes. You can find this trailer and other trailers on sites like YouTube.

 

Author’s Bio: Ryan is a writer from the Blog Content Guild who slings content about movies, comics, technology, and ways to get a deal with an HP Coupon.

2

5 Financial Planning Tips for Expectant Fathers

By
dadofdivas
– December 15, 2011Posted in: Guest Post

5 Financial Planning Tips for Expectant Fathers

–Philip J Reed, on behalf of Westwood College

 

The excitement of fatherhood is overwhelming enough without worrying about the many expenses associated with having a new baby. Yet, careful financial planning can mean the difference between transitioning smoothly into parenthood or scraping for extra funds to cover unexpected necessities. For practical dads who have yet to land that fancy finance degree, here are five smart money-saving tips to get your assets in order before the big day arrives.

1. Reorganize your budget.

Discuss post-pregnancy life with your spouse long before the due date, especially anticipated decreases in family income. Beyond obvious costs like food and diapers, you may need funding for health insurance, professional childcare and all of life’s little emergencies. Middle income families typically spend about $12,000 in the first year, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture. You can counter a large portion of this cost by establishing a solid safety net of at least three months’ pay. You should also review employers’ policies for paternity benefits, as many companies now offer paid leave for fathers.

2. Avoid impulse purchases.

Trendy new gadgets and designer baby clothes make great nursery ornaments, but will your blissful newborn even notice? Identify the necessities first, and then make a wish list of potential buys. Before making any purchase, ask yourself whether the item will improve the quality of care. If not, leave it at the store. The same rules apply for personal expenses, too. Don’t splurge on a big screen TV if you’re saving for a top-notch crib. Besides, you may luck out and get a few wish list items from family and friends.

3. Confront old debt.

Struggling to pay off long overdue credit cards and loans takes the focus away from your main priority: the baby. Saving is important, but reducing debt burdens leaves you free to distribute your post-pregnancy income more efficiently. While long-term agreements like mortgages and student loans are difficult to discharge in a short period of time, try to eliminate high credit card balances, medical bills and other unsecured debt.

4. Manage your savings.

Don’t shortchange your retirement fund to save more for future college expenses. Funnel enough money into your 401k to claim any match contributions offered by your employer, says certified financial planner Greg Schick. Schick also recommends putting the remaining funds towards a tax-free Roth IRA. At the same time, you can plan for your child’s education with a savings account, trust, tax-free 529 plan or other educational financing options.

5. Stabilize the future.

In the event of a death or serious disability, thorough preparations can ensure that your child is well cared for. While it may be unpleasant to consider, buying life insurance while you’re young and healthy is far less expensive. Create or update your will with details on how to distribute your estate and who will assume guardianship of your child. Although both tasks can be do-it-yourself projects, contacting an attorney or certified planner with a finance degree can make the process less complicated for busy parents.

Being a good father isn’t about buying the most expensive toys. It’s about giving your new baby a safe, happy introduction into this big world. The more you prepare now, the fewer headaches you’ll have once the baby arrives. And if you make wise spending choices, you might even be able to afford that big screen TV down the road.

0

Holiday survey – Big Spending is out Saving and Meaninful Gifts are in

By
dadofdivas
– November 22, 2011Posted in: Guest Post

American parents report they anticipate holiday budgets similar to last year and most will stretch their spending by shopping early and looking for deals, according to a survey of parents conducted by Upromise by Sallie Mae. When asked to identify their shopping persona, 33 percent of parents indicated they are Slow and Steady with Savvy Savers a close second at 30 percent. Black Friday Bargain Shoppers represent 22 percent, Under the Wires 11 percent, and Big Spenders are a rarity this year at 4 percent.

Many parents prefer practical presents for their children such as clothing (54 percent) and gift certificates (43 percent) or meaningful gifts of money for college (34 percent). In fact, 60 percent said they sometimes worry their kids get too much stuff and would prefer they received gifts that are more meaningful.

“We’re helping to make the season more meaningful for parents of five year olds and freshmen alike by making it easier to save more for college while gift-giving,” said David Coppins, president of Upromise, a service of Sallie Mae, the nation’s No. 1 financial services company specializing in education. “Holiday giving can be a stressful time—as can saving for college—and Upromise.com offers simple solutions to both.”

Last year, Upromise members saved $12 million for college during the holidays by making purchases through Upromise.com. This year, Upromise has made it even easier with extra cash back and discounts at hundreds of major retailers. For the 41 percent of parents who plan to shop with a credit card with rewards, the Upromise World MasterCard, through Dec. 31, 2011, offers card holders the ability to earn 11 percent cash back for college on eligible online purchases through Upromise.com. Information about rates, fees, other costs and benefits associated with the Upromise credit card is available at upromise.com/cardcenter.

Nearly half of parents surveyed plan to spend the same amount as last year (49 percent), followed by 34 percent who plan to reduce spending. Of those cutting back, nearly two-thirds (65 percent) are doing so to reduce debt and cover bills, while 34 percent are building up a rainy day fund, closely followed by saving for college (33 percent) and retirement (25 percent).

Eight out of 10 younger parents, under age 34, plan to save with online deals, coupons and free shipping compared to only six out of 10 parents age 45 or older. Crafty gift givers plan to spread holiday cheer by making their own gifts (21 percent) and nearly 10 percent will re-gift past presents.

The study surveyed 500 Americans with children ages 18 or under in October 2011.

***

Sallie Mae (NYSE: SLM) is the nation’s No. 1 financial services company specializing in education. Serving 25 million customers, Sallie Mae offers innovative savings tools, tuition payment plans and education loans that promote responsible financial habits and reward success. Through its subsidiaries, the company manages or services $238 billion in education loans and administers $35 billion in 529 college savings plans. Members of its Upromise college savings rewards program have earned $625 million to help pay for college. Sallie Mae is also one of the leading financial service providers for universities and governments at all levels, including supporting $8 billion in ecommerce transactions annually at nearly 1,000 campuses. More information is available at www.SallieMae.com. SLM Corporation and its subsidiaries, commonly known as Sallie Mae, are not sponsored by or agencies of the United States of America.

21

THE MUPPETS – Statler & Waldorf’s Guide to Going to the Movies!

By
dadofdivas
– October 14, 2011Posted in: Guest Post

STATLER & WALDORF’S

GUIDE TO GOING TO THE MOVIES

 

With Disney’s “The Muppets” coming out in theaters soon, Statler and Waldorf offer unsolicited advice and a whole lot of laughs about what to watch for at the theater.

 

STATLER:    When going to see a movie starring the Muppets, always get a good seat…

WALDORF:   …one that doesn’t face the screen!

 

 

WALDORF:   If you arrive late for your movie, stick around…

STATLER:    …they’ll be releasing a sequel soon!

 

 

STATLER:    Never get a bucket of popcorn that’s larger than your car.

 

 

WALDORF:   Don’t talk on your cell phone during the movie….

STATLER:    …it might wake us up!

 

 

WALDORF:   If you have to explain everything in the movie to the person you’re sitting next

to…

STATLER:    …welcome to my world.

 

 

WALDORF:   Sometimes the movie is not out of focus—you are.

 

 

STATLER:    Don’t talk back to the movie…

WALDORF:   …that’s our job!

 

 

WALDORF:   If you don’t have anything nice to say about a movie…

STATLER:    …sit next to us!

 

 

STATLER:    Spoiler Alert—The Muppets are in Disney’s “The Muppets.”

WALDORF:   Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

 

To see Statler and Waldorf in the balcony (where they belong), check out http://disney.go.com/muppets/portfolio/homepage.html.

3

New Girl Scouts ( @girlscouts ) Research Exposes the Impact of Reality TV on Girls

By
dadofdivas
– October 13, 2011Posted in: Guest Post

As reality TV has become staple entertainment for young people and adults alike, tween and teen girls who regularly view reality TV accept and expect a higher level of drama, aggression, and bullying in their own lives, and measure their worth primarily by their physical appearance, according to Real to Me: Girls and Reality TV, a national survey released today by the Girl Scout Research Institute.

The study found that the vast majority of girls think reality shows “often pit girls against each other to make the shows more exciting” (86 percent). When comparing the propensity for relational aggression between viewers and non-viewers of reality TV, 78 percent vs. 54 percent state that “gossiping is a normal part of a relationship between girls.”

Regarding romantic relationships, reality TV viewers are more likely than non-viewers to say “girls often have to compete for a guy’s attention” (74 percent vs. 63 percent), and are happier when they are dating someone or have a boyfriend/significant other (49 percent vs. 28 percent).

“Girls today are bombarded with media – reality TV and otherwise – that more frequently portrays girls and women in competition with one another rather than in support or collaboration.  This perpetuates a ‘mean-girl’ stereotype and normalizes this behavior among girls,” states Andrea Bastiani Archibald, Ph.D. Developmental Psychologist, Girl Scouts of the USA. “We don’t want girls to avoid reality TV, but want them, along with their parents, to know what they are getting into when they watch it.  Our national leadership program equips girls with the skills to decipher media fact from fiction and make healthy decisions for their own lives-separate from their sources of entertainment.”

Girls who view reality TV regularly are also more focused on the value of physical appearance. 72 percent say they spend a lot of time on their appearance vs. 42 percent of non-viewers, while more than a third (38 percent) think that a girl’s value is based on how she looks.

At the same time, girls surveyed who regularly view reality TV are more self-assured than non-viewers when it comes to an overwhelming majority of personal characteristics, with the majority considering themselves mature, a good influence, smart, funny, and outgoing. They are more likely than non-viewers to both aspire to leadership (46 percent vs. 27 percent) and to think they are currently seen as a leader (75 percent vs. 63 percent). In addition, they are more likely to see themselves as role models for other girls (75 percent vs. 61 percent).

The study revealed that reality TV has many upsides as well. 68 percent of girls agree that reality shows “make me think I can achieve anything in life” and 48 percent that they “help me realize there are people out there like me.” Seventy-five percent of girls say that reality TV depicts people with different backgrounds and beliefs.

“We also want to emphasize the many positive benefits to reality TV, including its role as a learning and motivational tool,” states Kimberlee Salmond, Senior Researcher, Girl Scout Research Institute. “For example, we know that many girls receive inspiration and comfort from reality TV and that 62 percent of girls say that these types of shows have raised their awareness of social issues and causes.”

Since its founding in 2000, the Girl Scout Research Institute has become an internationally recognized center for research and public policy information on the development and well-being of girls.  Not just Girl Scouts, but all girls.

About Girl Scouts

Founded in 1912, Girl Scouts of the USA is the preeminent leadership development organization for girls with 3.2 million girl and adult members worldwide. Girl Scouts is the leading authority on girls’ healthy development, and builds girls of courage, confidence, and character, who make the world a better place. The organization serves girls from every corner of the United States and its territories. Girl Scouts of the USA also serves American girls and their classmates attending American or international schools overseas in 90 countries. For more information on how to join, volunteer, reconnect, or donate to Girl Scouts, call (800) GSUSA 4 U or visit www.girlscouts.org

15

Five Ways to Raise an Athlete via @drterrilovedr

By
dadofdivas
– October 12, 2011Posted in: Guest Post

Five Ways to Raise an Athlete

By Terri Orbuch PhD

 

When I was younger, I played competitive tennis in the fall on my high school tennis team, played on the badminton team in the winter, ran for track and field in the spring, and taught tennis in the summers to young children.

As a result of being an athlete, I learned coordination, leadership, team spirit, physical strength, and interpersonal skills. I learned how to cope with loss, frustration, and sheer exhaustion. I was taught to respect my coaches, support my team members, and challenge myself. In fact, sports taught me lessons and skills I would not have easily learned elsewhere. Besides, being an athlete was fun.

That’s why I was saddened to read that, according to the National Alliance for Sports, 20 million kids register each year for youth hockey, football, baseball, soccer, and other competitive sports, but about 70 percent of these kids quit playing these league sports by age 13 — and never play them again. The number one reason they quit, says Michael Pfahl, executive director of the National Youth Sports Coaches Association, “is that it stopped being fun.”

That’s a shame, because the benefits for kids of staying active are many. How can we as parents help our children have fun being athletic? Here are some guidelines.

 

Get to the root of the issue.

If your child announces that she’s quitting the team, gets anxious before practice, or decides not to try out, find out why. Is she getting harassed by older or better players? Does she routinely get benched or yelled at by the overzealous coach? Is she feeling pressure to perform — either from her teammates or possibly even from you? Some questions to ask: How do you feel about the other kids on the team? How’s the coach treating you? How do you feel about your skills and how you’re doing on the team? Is it fun? If not, why not?

 

Become more involved.
If you suspect bullying by peers or unfair treatment by the coach, consider attending some practices to see if you can observe the problem firsthand. Another strategy is to get involved with the team, by manning the snack bar, hosting a team party, or being a volunteer scorekeeper, team photographer, or equipment manager. Coaches and teammates appreciate involved parents, and it’s great for your child’s morale.

 

Keep an upbeat attitude.

Your child’s participation in sports is strongly affected by your attitude, so be aware of your words and behavior toward the sport, the coach, the referee or ump, and his teammates. If you’re overly concerned with winning, it sends a negative message to your child. But when you have a positive attitude about his participation (even if he loses, sits on the bench, plays people who are way out of his league, or fails miserably), he’ll imitate your behavior. Don’t be the parent who yells at the coach or refs. And be proud of your child for giving it “his best,” even when he loses.

 

Find a “sport” your child loves.

Not all kids perceive themselves as athletic or oriented toward “sports.” The key is to identify an activity that resonates for your child. For example, does you child love to sketch? Then maybe hiking and birdwatching with a portable easel is the ticket. Is your child noncompetitive? How about biking or skateboarding for him? Is your child theatrical? Sign her up for hip-hop dance studio. From pep squad and marching band to archery and rock climbing, there are so many “sports” for kids that you and your child should be able to come up with something your child loves that develops physical skills. As for competitive team sports, think creatively: ping-pong, badminton, ultimate Frisbee, and bowling are some examples. If it’s not offered at school, find a community organization that sponsors one of these teams.

Keep them engaged with support.

Don’t forget that children who are happy in their chosen sport need support too. You can encourage them to stay on course by taking an interest. Just like anything else your child does, your involvement is key to their success in that activity. You don’t have to be the coach, but try to go to their games, practice with them at home, help them pick out the right equipment or clothes, and make sure they get to practices. Even though they may love to play, they want you to feel proud of them too.

Keeping your child connected to sports they enjoy and helping them become passionate about physical activities they love is a gift from you that keeps on giving. Just as kids who grow up eating healthfully eventually adopt these good habits later in life once they’re on their own, being physically active and having positive associations with sports during youth encourages children to remain physically active as adults.

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Terri Orbuch PhD, known as The Love Doctor, has been a practicing marriage and relationship therapist for more than 20 years, and is a popular love advisor on radio, TV, Huffington Post, and peoplemedia.com, most recently seen on NBC’s Today. A research professor at the Institute for Social Research at University of Michigan, and a professor at Oakland University, she is author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great (Random House), as well as a forthcoming book on finding love again after divorce. Find out more at www.drterrithelovedoctor.com.

 

 

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