fatherhood Archive

54

Guys, Did You Know? – Tips from @DermDoc & @DoveMenCare

 

The Absolute Essentials

By Dr. Jeffrey Benabio

 

Men’s skincare is a trending topic.  Facebook and Twitter have become great forums for skincare discussion (I’m a regular on Twitter @DermDoc), where guys can crowd-source recommendations and learn about products designed for them. For example, check out @DoveMenCare where conversations range from how family vacations to playing a favorite sport can take a toll on your skin.  With a plethora of new men’s products on the market, it’s important to be informed.

  • Lather, rinse, simplify!  Since some men don’t like using a loofah in the shower, it’s important to simplify the body washing process with a product that lathers easily, like Dove Men+Care Clean Comfort Body and Face Wash.  The products are formulated using ultra-light micromoisture technology, a unique gel technology that activates on skin during lather to guard against discomfort.
  • Don’t forget your feet.  Feet are the most ignored body part in the shower, which can lead to Athlete’s Foot or staph.  Prevention can be as easy as rubbing hand sanitizer on feet (especially before hitting a shower at your gym), which will kill off infections.  (It’s important to rub in sanitizer for at least sixty seconds or until all the alcohol has fully evaporated for it to really work!)
  • It’s not the socks!  Men often attribute dry skin on their feet to their socks.  Since feet skin is sensitive and prone to dryness, it’s important to use a personal wash that thoroughly cleanses skin while fighting dryness, like Dove Men+Care Body and Face Bar, which contains Dove’s signature ¼ moisturizing cream.
  • Locker room care.  After sweating and getting tossed around on the field, sports equipment like football helmets will get dirty, which can lead to folliculitis or staph infections.  To avoid infection, equipment should be cleaned with rubbing alcohol, a locker staple.  And to minimize the items in your gym bag, it’s helpful to use products that serve multiple purposes, like Dove Men+Care Body and Face Wash, the #1 dermatologist recommended brand.
  • The absolute essentials.  Most men don’t want to spend significant time perfecting their grooming routine; these are the essential products for every guy, in order of importance – antiperspirant/deodorant, shampoo, body wash.  You need a moisturizer in the winter, and a sunscreen in the summer.  (And all can be found at the local drug store.)
47

Vote for @DadofDivas in the Every Man Jack Contest!

I have been entered into the Ever Man Jack’s contest and am looking for votes here: http://everymanjack.com/wanted/node/924/lightbox2

 

The contest is run in three phases, right now until August 19 you have the opportunity to vote, once every six hours and you also get the opportunity to vote on different browsers every six hours.

About the Contest
“Every Man Jack embodies the guy who takes pride in his appearance, but doesn’t want to spend a lot of time or money on his grooming routine,” said Ritch Viola, founder and CEO of Every Man Jack.  “The campaign reflects this mentality, and we hope that this fun, interactive contest engages more guys to take a few small steps towards feeling and looking their best.”

Once the semi-finalists are chosen by the public,Every Man Jack’s roster of guest judges, which will include 2010’s WANTED winner and several national grooming, lifestyle and fashion editors, will vote for their favorite four guys.  The four finalists will each receive a trip for two to Vegas where they will party and attend a photo shoot where their images could end up in the upcoming Every Man Jack ad campaign.  The complete list of prizes awarded will include:

Grand Prize Winner

  • Featured in an Every Man Jack ad
  • Plus, all prizes listed below for runners-up

10 Finalists

  • Free Every Man Jack products for one year

Final Four

  • Trip for two to Las Vegas that includes:
  • Two nights at Planet Hollywood
  • Entry to the Planet Hollywood spa and health club
  • Dinner for two at a restaurant in Caesar’s Palace
  • Roundtrip transportation to and from Planet Hollywood
  • Free Every Man Jack products for one year

All Entrants

  • One free Every Man Jack product at Target
So I am asking all of my readers to vote often between now and August 19 and help me become one of the semi-finalists in this contest!!!
0

Man of the House Greatest TV Dad Contest!

Think March Madness, only with TV Dads, and what do you get, yes, that’s right, Man of the House’s Greatest TV Dad Contest.

What I love about this contest is that unlike March Madness you are in control of who wins. You get to go in and choose for yourself who is the ultimate TV Dad and who who reign supreme. I have my own thoughts on this and will share them with you in just a few minutes.

What was also great though was the fact that this contest had very few rules. What Man of the House is asking is that you go online vote and then get involved with some of the discussions that they are having about these TV Dads and the shows that they were on. One of the questions that I always wonder is how good of dad these “dads” were in real life… so are they practicing what they preach on television or is it all an act?

So I wanted to share with you my thoughts so I made a video talking about my thoughts on this. I look forward to your own thoughts on this… please chime in and let me know who you would choose and why!

I wrote this review while participating in a blog tour campaign by Dad Central Consulting on behalf of P&G and received promotional items to thank me for taking the time to participate.

1

A Day Out With Thomas – Fun for the Whole Family

For mother’s day today we had a blast today and were able to go out and celebrate the day at Greenfield Village for A Day out with Thomas the Train as well as just having fun at a great place! We have always loved Greenfield Village and J-Mom and I have great memories of growing up at the village and we were excited to share this experience with our girls as well.

On top of this my girls love the music and cartoons of Thomas the Train. We actually decided to keep the fact that Thomas was going to be there until we got there and let me tell you, they were completely ecstatic! Their high pitched screams were ear piercing… I think I am just starting to be able to hear again.

I wanted to take a few minutes to share with you some of the great things about the day and about the event. If you have never heard of the The Henry Ford Museum and Greenfield Village, get ready for a step back in time. This HUGE venue is filled with amazing treasures for you and your family to share. I will be focusing my comments on Greenfield Village today, but the Henry Ford Museum also is amazing and you could easily spend two days wandering around this museum, learning and experiencing everything.

At Greenfield Village, Henry Ford brought together a wide array of homes that range in age from ones built in the 1600′s in England to slave quarters to famous locations such as Thomas Edison’s Menlo Park Laboratory, the home that Henry Ford was born in, the Wright Brothers Store and more. On top of all of this, you have working craftsmen making beautiful items such as hand blown glass, tin smiths, pottery, and more. Even better are the people who work at the village as they are all highly trained, and many are even wearing and working in period outfits and act as if they are from that era as well.

One example of this was the working farm. The Firestone (Yes, like the tires) home is a beautiful home from the 1800′s and at Greenfield Village it is still in working condition and the people working daily at it come straight out of the 1800′s as well. That means from working the land to cooking in the home, men and women are in traditional garb and they work hard to make the farm a working one. I can tell that the people working at this farm and at a number of the other period houses and locations work very hard at their job!

You can also have fun learning, not only seeing how people lived, but also how they played and had fun. At this location there were a number of times where our kids were able to have fun and play games that kids in the 1800′s and early 1900′s played. They loved it, and I had a blast trying to let them know about how people lived when they didn’t have indoor plumbing, electricity or a Nintendo WII!

On top of all of this was the actual event that I was hear to report on, which was a Day out with Thomas! Not only was it fun to be able to see the actual Thomas the Train, but also the park was alive with fun Thomas related games, movies, and even Sir Topham Hat! You are surrounded by the world of Thomas the Train and you can even leave the park with a bag filled with Thomas the Train items as there is a gift shop specifically geared toward the fan.

Riding on Thomas was fun as well. I think that my girls had wished that they could have gone up right to the front and touched Thomas, but we were sitting in the back of the train and because of this when you exited the train you ended up having to go away from where Thomas was (in the front of the train). The train was also on a pretty tight schedule so they were trying to keep people moving along. So my suggestion is that if you really want your child to see Thomas up close, make sure to get there prior to your allotted time and make sure to sit up toward the front. Just know that if you are in a coal fire driven train, there is the possibility that you might get some soot on your clothes (We did and we were sitting toward the back).

All-in-all, this day was a blast, from the temporary Thomas tattoos to the full scale amazing Lionel Train Display on site, they thought of everything for the Thomas lover. On top of this, at this location, you get even more, with the rich history and beauty that surrounds the village itself! I highly recommend spending a Day Out With Thomas yourself and if you are in the Dearborn Michigan area anytime soon, take a day or two to step back in time at the Henry Ford Museum and Greenfield Village – you will not forget the experience!

About the Day out with Thomas event
All aboard! Thomas the Tank Engine™ is chugging into a station near you for Day Out With Thomas™: Leader of the Track Tour 2011.  Thomas fans are invited to come spend the day with their favorite No. 1 engine.  For over 65 years, children have been captivated by the courageous adventures of Thomas and his engine friends.  During its 16th consecutive year, Day Out With Thomas will make stops in more than 45 cities in the United States and Canada and is expected to welcome more than one million passengers in 2011.

If you are a Thomas the Train fan, there are still a ton of dates out there , you really should check them out today – http://www.ticketweb.com/promo/dowt/index.html

 

All opinions expressed in this review are my own and not influenced in any way by the company.  Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Please refer to this site’s Disclaimer for more information. I have been compensated or given a product free of charge, but that does not impact my views or opinions.

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2

Dads in the Limelight – Markus Watson

Our 104th Dad in the Limelight is Markus Watson of Father411.com. I want to thank Markus for being a part of this series. It has been great connected with him and now sharing him with all of you!

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

My name is Markus (Mark) Watson and I was born to be a Dad. I’m a life coach for fathers and my company is Father411(Father411.com), professional voice over artist, serial entrepreneur  and I’m currently writing a book about dads and how to be a better one. I’m ex-army and have an “old-school” fathering style as it relates to discipline, respect and rearing. My favorite quote is “The Way You Do Anything, Is The Way You Do Everything”

2) Tell me about your family.

I’m married to my Lesley, my Chief Chick and I’m the father to the best son alive, Malcolm (9) from a previous marriage. He’s musically gifted, well adjusted and the reason I exist.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

The largest challenge I’ve faced as a father was moving away from my son in early 2008. I live out of state and about 1200 miles away from him. My greatest obstacle as a non-custodial dad is not being there physically. I’ve learned that through technology (emails, Skype, web chats, texting and phone calls that I can help with homework, see is concerts (recorded) and maintain
a positive presence in his life.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

That the biggest mistake we can make is to try to be perfect. Our children don’t need us to be perfect, they need us to be present.
Children evolve daily, so do their needs. As dads we have to adapt to keep up Being a dad is like shaving no matter how good you shave today, you’ll still have to shave tomorrow.

5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.

I work a lot, but I look at work as an extension of my responsibilities as a dad. As a father coach, I use my experience as a father as my foundation, while my voice over career started by making up characters while playing with my son or putting him to sleep.
So I guess, my calling as a dad prepared me for my career path.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

I’ve learned that as many different types of dads that are out there (married, single, non-custodial, military, traveling, etc)
that we all struggle  with the same issues. We’re all connected and want to be the best, but sometimes we get…sidetracked and need a little help to get us back on that path. We’re all more alike than we are different.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

Being a dad is the greatest experience I’ve had in my 40+ years of life. I’ve been blessed and charged with God-given responsibility of another life. I’ve learned that I can do anything for the betterment of my son. My time as a dad has shown me that the 4 sweetest words ever spoken are “I love you dad”. Those words are uplifting and makes a bad day better and a good day great!

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

Oh my, there are so many…Seeing my son born and having him squeeze my finger. His first soccer goal. Seeing his confidence grow as I was running behind him while he was learning to ride his bike and then seeing his face as I told him afterwards that I let go 1/2 block prior. Seeing his passion about his music. I have been blessed to be able to travel to see some of his best moments, which make them MY best moments.

If you have any questions for Markus, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

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3

Dads in the Limelight – Joe Brazier

Our 103rd Dad in the Limelight is Joe Brazier of Manhood vs. Dadhood. I want to thank Joe for being a part of this series. It has been great connected with him and now sharing him with all of you!

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

My name is Joe, I’m 30 this February.  I have been a lot of things in my life: college athlete, grad student, teacher, coach, husband, father, friend, Christian, American.  The aspects of my life I am most proud of have remained being a husband and a father.  I am in the limelight because I grew up with my mom and step-dad, and met my bio-dad when I was 22, and when I was 19 I realized I was fatherless (due to failings and absences), and that has left a hole in my soul.  I have a blog about searching for manhood without knowing the directions to get there.  I also look at how manhood and dadhood seem to be in opposition to one another in American culture.

2) Tell me about your family

My wife and I have been married for 6.5 years.  We’ve known one another and our families since childhood, and didn’t pursue a relationship until going to college in different states.  We have a 4 year old daughter and a 1 year old son.  We are most-likely done having our own children, but we both feel that it is a strong possibility to adopt in a few years.  We are not sure if we’d adopt from another country or from within the US; I think we’re leaning towards another country.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

The largest challenge I’ve had in being a father has been in not having mine around for support or help.  My step-dad (who raised me) has proven himself to be a man I cannot trust around my kids, and a man I will not have around my kids.  Whatever relationship we once had, is completely gone; that’s all I can say about that.  My bio-dad (whom I’ve only known for 7 years) has not been around, and because of that, he does not know how to be around.  The death of his father 8 or 9 years ago prompted him to try and repair relationships with his own brothers and with his sons he has not been in contact with for over 20 years.

In place of a supportive father figure, I’ve had my oldest brother (by 15 years).  And even though he does not take the place of a father figure for me, he has offered some advice and support that has been helpful.  But having to become a father without one to get support from or validation from is most challenging for me.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

The best advice I can give is for fathers to love your wife.  Our children learn A LOT about relationships from what they see us do.  I work with secondary-aged school kids and they are trying to figure out how to understand themselves, how to understand their friends, and how to understand the other gender.  They will relate to the opposite gender how they see us relate to our wives, and they will expect to be treated (this is HUGE for dads of girls) the way they see us treat our wives.  Love your wife, openly and appropriately in front of your children.  Let them see that this wonderful woman is the center of your life, and they will grow to love a man (or become a man ) that does the same.

5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.

I have a really simple answer for this.  I do not balance it; my family is my #1 priority.  I’ve been a dad-blogger since October 2010, but I’ve been blogging for just a couple years now, and I do it in between the family activities.  I enjoy being around my family… my wife and kids… too much to let something take me away from them.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

I have learned that being a dad who loves his wife, and is engaged with his children puts me in an elite group of men I’m proud to associate myself with.  I’ve learned that we do not have to be perfect, but we do have to keep trying.  I have learned that NOTHING can replace the love of a father.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

I knew I loved kids, but I didn’t know how much I would enjoy the 0-18 months stages of my kids.  Seeing the growth happen at such a fast rate is amazing, and I’m glad I was able to be around to see it.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

The most memorable experiences have been the family trips we’ve taken.  We have not had the luxury of fitting our lives around our kids, so we’ve had to throw them into our lives and they’ve been awesome.  When my daughter was 18 months old, my sister-in-law got married in Greece.  So the whole family made a trip out of it and we took our daughter to Greece.  She got to play in the Mediterranean, and see the Akropolis.  We took both of them to Cali, and Canada and we’re going to Minnesota this summer, and maybe Portland.  We are not wealthy by any means, but we feel that the experiences are worth so much more in the long run.  The best thing I get to experience now is my two kids playing with and enjoying one another.  My parents fostered competition among my siblings so we never got along very well.  I love to see them getting along.

If you have any questions for Joe, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

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Questions?Drop me a line at dadofdivas@gmail.com

4

Dads in the Limelight – Chase Reeves

Our 102nd Dad in the Limelight is Chase Reeves of http://fatherapprentice.com/ . I want to thank Chase for being a part of this series. It has been great connected with him and now sharing him with all of you! 

IMG_34401) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge

My name is Chase Reeves and I’m the guy in the driver’s seat over at a blog for new dadscalled Father Apprentice. As I write this I’m sitting in my Ikea rocking chair, macbook pro on my lap, my wife’s on the couch, she’s got her lil’ laptop on her lap (with, like, an hundred million tabs open in firefox WTF!?), and we’re watching the Bachelor… because our 19month old son is finally asleep. That’s me, that’s my life. 
 
When I’m not in my rocking chair drippin’ bits of my essential consciousness into the gloss and abyss of reality tv (WTF woman!?) I’m designing websites, helping clients with marketing adventures, running the marketing department of a small tech startup in Portland, OR, writing posts and recording videos for Father Apprentice, starting up other projects, wiping my son’s a$$, finding ways to give him a good time, and trying to manage the emotional-relational-sexual-organizational-kitchenCleanliness balance of my wife (it’s a delicate balance, that). 
 
aiden on phone from zachs iphone

2) Tell me about your family 
My son is 19 months old. He’s called Aiden. He’s adorable, and he has single-handedly destroyed more dreams of mine than any other person I know. I’m sure it’s all for the best, but dream killing hurts no matter how much you love the dream-killer. But that’s more about me than him.

Have you had a 19 month old boy? It’s like he’s in limbo: he’s got so many words, understands so much of what you say, but he doesn’t know how to speak a lot of it back to you – he’s stuck between the knowledge in his mind and the control of his body. Nowadays he’s just putting together his first sentences (3 word score!)… and screaming… a lot of screaming.

My wife is a real estate agent and she knows all the answers. “BABE!? Is it bad that he just put his own ca-ca in his mouth?” “MELLISA!? What should I make him for breakfast?” “HELLO!? There’s still a bunch of dishes in the sink! what!? it’s *my* job!? No sex? Well, fine! wait, ok… i’ll do it. Wait… I’m so confused! My mind’s telling me ‘no’, but my body!”

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3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
The largest challenge I’ve had has been facing my own selfishness… I call this the father burden. Turns out, I’m the most selfish guy in the room, any room… That means I’ve had a hard time letting go of my stuff, my life, my leisure, my prerogative – because being a dad means giving up that stuff; you get a whole lot more than you had before, but not always at first, and that’s hard… especially when you’re, like, a pro selfish guy.

Also, screaming midnight babies… that’s been another hard part of fatherhood.

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4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
Whoa… this is a big one… Let me list out some of the important ones I’ve learned.

  • Focus on being good enough as a dad. You can try to be the best, but you’ll probably crack, cuz you’re just comparing yourself to unrealistic, un-human standards.
  • Try some exercises in getting curious about your kid. Get down on their level, your hands and knees, see how they see the world a bit.
  • Stay hydrated – make an old fashioned. But seriously, understand your needs for time with the friends – time for smoking cigars, telling stories, catching up, and general howling at the moon. You’re no good to your family if you’re just a ball of angst and danger all the time.
  • And stock up on some creative dad tips… they’re out there! Like tips about getting kids to eat, or how to put kids down in cribs, how to make a toybank, etc. It’s amazing how much gratitude I have for some of the little tips I use every day.

 
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5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.
Balancing parenthood with my dayjobs, entrepreneurialisms, silly startups, wolf-howling, etc., is tough… real tough. But most of life is that way… this is just how it looks in 2011. The most helpful thing for me, i think, is keeping the communication lines open… between my wife and I, and between my friends and I.

My wife knows when I’m burning out, she knows when I’m running at unhealthy levels, she knows when the fam needs more of me, and she knows how to pipe up and let me know about it.

My friends know when my sh!t stinks, and they need to tell me, because I could get dangerously off-balance if they don’t.

Every now and again the communication doesn’t go that smoothly – I’m still young and let myself get a bit too far outta-whack before I correct myself… So, that means there may be some turbulence (read: plate-throwing), but we keep that honesty in tact, no matter what, because it’s our life-line, it’s what keeps us in this.

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6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
I’ve learned that I’m strong enough to do this, to be a dad, and that it matters… that it’s meaningful work, more meaningful than I knew, more meaningful than I know. That parenthood will hit me harder in the future than it has in the past, but I can take it… That even when I hit the bottom of myself I can bounce back (I just may need a walk and some fresh air and/or a tequila cocktail).

I’ve learned that from guys I know who are “strong like bull” on inside. Guys like my friend Courtney who’ve been hit hard and know real pain and loss, and who continue to push on towards “good enough” as a dad. (Courtney wrote that post)

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7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
Oh, yea, almost forgot: just promise me you’ll never have kids before you’re ready, ok? :)

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8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
Oh man, favorite ever are the snuggle sessions after naps. Those are legendary! His knuckle-headed chubby face all knitted tight with puffy eyes and blanket marks… ugh! that’s my favorite for sure.

Then there was the time he shoved his hand in his diaper and in super slow-mo brought his hand out, stared at it, and put it directly in his mouth… THAT WAS HORRIBLE!

The whole “kid poops in shower” episode was interesting, as well.

And then there’s the time where my wife and I, this woman who I share my whole everything with, my life… the one who I used to have sex with, you know, relatively often… the one who I married when we were young and sun-kissed and idealistic… we used to talk about life together there in bed, the pillow talk… but now we only talk about what Aiden did that day… and we are absolutely giddy about every single detail – like, way more giddy about him than we ever were about anything else. That’s pretty memorable.

If you have any questions for Chase, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

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Questions?Drop me a line at dadofdivas@gmail.com

0

Dads in the Limelight – Alan Kercinik

Our 101st Dad in the Limelight is Alan Kercinik of AlwaysJacked.com . I want to thank Alan for being a part of this series. It has been great connected with him and now sharing him with all of you!

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

My name is Alan Kercinik, a lifelong Chicagoan who has remained a Cubs fan despite decades of disappointment. (That should tell you all you need to know about me. I love lost causes.)

I’m the North American creative director for the public relations agency, Weber Shandwick. I lead a couple of pieces of business, as well as help teams across the country concept campaigns for their clients. I’ve long held aspirations of becoming a writer, and when my son was born a couple of years ago, I took it as an inspiration to start doing a little bit more about it and sharing my personal writing more widely. I started blogging at AlwaysJacked.com a couple months after he was born. I also contribute to thirtymag.com and the soon-to-be-relaunched Fatherfolk.com.
2) Tell me about your family

My wife is the greatest. If there is anything that has confirmed my belief in fate, it’s her. We met about nine years ago, when I had to rent a car to drive to Wisconsin for a client meeting. She worked at Enterprise at the time (they really do pick you up, as it turns out) and rented the car to me. Instant banter and connection. Her name is Lara, which also happens to be the name of Superman’s Kryptonian mother. I’m a huge comic book geek and took that as a sign, on our first date, that I should be paying attention to this woman. We’ve been together ever since.

Our first child’s name is Scout. She is a mini goldendoodle and a great dog. Our son’s name is Jack. He is very independent, a bit of a climber, has a pinch of mischief in him, and is a really friendly, happy little dude.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Finding balance. Between my job, being a husband and a dad and my own personal writing, sometimes it’s hard to find time to just sit and do nothing. Or read a book. I know that this is a complaint of many women who work, who feel like they have to somehow ‘do it all.’

I don’t think that most people expect men to actively make the effort to spend time with their kids. But that is something that I knew I was going to work at the second that I met Jack. So if it means that I have to work at night for a while, or work a bit every weekend, I’d rather do that because I want to make sure that I’m an everyday part of his life, not just his dad on the weekends.
 
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Communicate. Lara made the choice to stay home with Jack after he was born and I appreciate how hard it can be, especially in the midst of a Chicago winter, to be inside with the little guy for ten hours a day. So we’ve developed a good routine — which we mapped out pretty early — and know when to say to the other, “Hey, why don’t you go take a break today?” If you don’t do this, to say that you need a couple hours to go hit the gym or do something else, that’s where resentment and tension is going to come from.
 
5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.

One of my challenges in that regard was about my blog, oddly enough. A lot of parental bloggers highlight different brands or talk about different products. Because of what I do, that can be a challenging place for me. I believe in the clients I work on, but didn’t want to use that platform to promote them due to transparency and other issues like that. Or to have other parents think that the only reason I started a blog was to promote my clients.
 
So I decided that my blog was going to be a place where I put some writing out into the world and I would try to talk about parenthood and raising Jack through the lens of what he’s teaching me, rather than what brands I use in our house. It’s been a little bit of church and state separation that I feel works pretty well for me.
 
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

There are a lot of really good dads out there, who take that job very seriously. Many of them are, in their way, pushing against the stereotype of dad as this kind of do-nothing bumbler who doesn’t know a thing about his kids.

I think this is an interesting time of male self-expression. There weren’t a lot of men out there, a generation or two ago, who really talked about what it meant to be a dad. Hopefully that also translates into more fathers telling their kids what they mean to them.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

I wasn’t ready for it. I mean, I was in the sense that I knew I wanted to be a dad. I knew that for a really long time. But I don’t know that I could have been adequately prepared, no matter how many people I talked to, about the impact it would have on me.

It has, in many ways, pushed me to pursue some things in my own life that I was not doing as much as I could, because I want to be a proper example for my son.
 
8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

My memorable moments are really the little things. Stupid things we do together that get us both laughing, like when he wants to play LEGOs and we build robots and he starts running around the house yelling, “Robots!”

This past Christmas was pretty special. Jack was at an age where he almost understood the concept. What he did understand was that he was getting a bunch of new toys. Prior to then, he’d not been the most emotionally demonstrative kid in the world. Bit of a squirmer / back-archer if you tried to give him a hug. After all the presents were opened, he came up to me and Lara to give us hugs — more than once — and it kind of blew me away.

If you have any questions for Alan, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

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Dads in the Limelight – Wayne & Jonny Lifshitz

Our 100th Dads in the Limelight are Wayne & Jonny Lifshitz of  The Piggyback Rider. I want to thank Wayne and Jonny for being a part of this series. I first met them thanks to my review of the Piggyback Rider Product. It has been great connected with him and now sharing him with all of you!

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
We are the brothers, fathers, inventors that designed and currently market the Piggyback Rider™.

2) Tell me about your family
Our family moved through Europe during WWII from Poland and Germany, to the UK and eventually South Africa.  We (and our younger brother Bryan) were born and raised in South Africa into a large extended family, that was well integrated into the local community. Every weekday and weekend, we were surrounded by relatives of one sort or another. Even friends were thought of as family. In 1980, we immigrated to the United States with our parents. No longer surrounded by an extended family, Southern California became our new home. Each of us headed off to a different PAC-10 university, pursuing our individual strengths: business, science and international relations (Wayne); and science, engineering, computer science (Jonny). Before long, we were living in different countries, time zones, or states from one another – each far-flung from our first U.S home in Irvine, CA. Next, we became husbands and independent professionals, and soon after, fathers. Between 2003 and 2010, we had six children (5 boys; 1 girl). Our kids became the impetus for the genesis of the Piggyback Rider™. Currently, we still live three states apart, within the same time zone, but the internet keeps us close.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
Time. Finding time to (1) relax, (2) spend time with our wives and (3) engage in quality time with the kids and teach them everything they need to know. Daily duties of homework, washing, eating and cleaning often get in the way of all three. Thus, we designed a product to increase the quality of our times together. Over the past two years, manufacturing and marketing the Piggyback Rider has reshuffled some of that quality time. Thankfully, it is a family business and everyone plays an important role.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
Play with your kids. Listen to the way they interpret the game rules. Let them use their imagination to expand the boundaries of play. We have found that this increases the quality of the time you spend together. Our advice is to apply this simple play and listen rule applied to building lego, crashing cars, dressing up, making crafts, using technology and of course every sport available.

5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.
Sleep less. There is no compromising quality, whether that quality is in the workplace or time spent with family. By sharing the responsibility with your business partner (brother) or your spouse, it is possible to maintain quality control, without compromise. However, sleeping less is always an option and a necessity at times.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
No one is above human nature. Everyone goes through the same difficulties and periods of doubt. Regardless of YOUR particular ‘issue of the moment’, someone has been there, someone will be going through it and the remainder have yet to go there. From that perspective, the online community is invaluable to discuss possible options for any given situation – home, work or recreation.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
Fatherhood is a remarkable ‘look in the mirror.’ Children look up to and emulate their parents, copying every nuance and gesture. Be the person you want your child to be!

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
Laughing like a two year-old, with my two-year old! Sharing a conversation. Watching my oldest son transition (out of diapers) and into a toddler; his nightly bathroom visits cemented the fact that we now have a roommate.

If you have any questions for Wayne or Jonny, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that they get them so that they may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

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Dads in the Limelight – Brian Thomas

Our 99th Dad in the Limelight is Brian Thomas of the Cheek of God Blog. I want to thank Brian for being a part of this series. It has been great connected with him and now sharing him with all of you!

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

I’m 42 years old and I have a really awesome unibrow.  That is my only claim to fame.  The hair between my eyebrows.  Don’t believe me?  Check it: http://thecheekofgod.wordpress.com/2008/11/01/the-taming-of-the-brow/  As for the limelight?  I work at Edy’s Grand Ice Cream in Fort Wayne, Indiana.  Which means I am in the proximity of insanely large amounts of ice cream for twelve hours each day.  Those Nestle Drumsticks you love to eat?  We make those.  And those little bitty cones that taste like s’mores?  We make those too.  If you live west of the Rockies, then we’re Dreyer’s.  Regardless of where you are, we’re delicious.   

2) Tell me about your family

I wife and I will be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary this June.  Cards, especially ones stuffed with cash, are welcomed!  Together, we have four children.  Two boys and two girls.  The youngest is ten and the oldest is seventeen.  Yes, all of our kids are double-digits now.  What few hairs we have left are gray.  We also have two dogs and a cat.  The gerbils and Walmart fish died.  

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Dealing with the fact that there will come a day when you can’t beat your kids at video games anymore.  Seriously, I think it’s the inevitable day when you realize that there is only so much you can teach your kids.  A moment comes when they decide to assemble all that I’ve given them into one giant conglomeration, and take it for a spin.  They will tinker with it and make adjustments, and it will never be the same as when I gave it to them.  Will it keep them safe?  Will it protect them?  Give them courage to face what they have to face each day?  I am at my best when I realize that the parts I give them are just parts, and they decide what to keep and what to toss aside.  One day, their lives will speak of what I’ve given them.  I hope that conversation makes sense . . .    

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Smile more.  And not in a condescending way.  Kids can smell that tripe a mile away.  See their lives as evolving works of art and smile that you have the privilege to watch them come to life.

5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.

There was a day when I was in the limelight, so to speak.  I worked as an operations manager / announcer at a radio station and had the opportunity to attend / host many events for our listeners.  My kids were little then, so they didn’t see me as anything other than their dad, the guy who occasionally talked to them on the radio or mentioned them from a stage.  Now, I am under the radar.  My skill set is limited.  I spent more than a year unemployed.  And now I help make the ice cream.  Every day, they want to know what flavor I helped make.  Or if I brought any home.  And I also write a blog, which has put me, and them, out there for all to see and read about.  But at the end of each and every day, I am here.  Ready to hug them before bedtime or read to them or play a game or watch a movie or talk about girls.  Or boys.  I am the same goofball that loves them so much it hurts, and that will never change.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

To talk gently.  I can be boisterous.  Overbearing.  Outright loud.  And kids have tender ears.  And hearts.  So speak softly . . .

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

There are no more diapers, strollers, car seats, sippy cups, or blowouts.  And yet nothing much has changed.  They are still precious to me.  And I know that when I get home, they are running to the car yelling for Daddy, even if only in their hearts . . . 

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

Holy crap.  There was the Father / Daughter dance, where I snuggled with my youngest, literally sweeping her off her feet, and cried like I’d invented it.  Or the funeral where my eldest sat on the front pew and strummed his guitar, writing a song that only he knows the words to.  Or the boy that runs sprints and does burpees and wears that awkward head gear because he knows that grandpa loved wrestling, would have loved to see him wrestle, but isn’t here anymore.  Or the daughter who curls up with a favorite book, one that she’s read a hundred times, and gets so wrapped up in it that she slides off the couch, like her old man did once, and will probably do again before the end.  The end.  This life is so short, and each moment is memorable if you make it so.

If you have any questions for Brian, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

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Questions?Drop me a line at dadofdivas@gmail.com

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