Our 221st Dad in the Limelight is Bruce Smith. I want to thank Bruce for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
My name is Bruce Smith. My interests include photography and writing. And my “day job” is that of a Disaster Recovery Specialist” travelling nationwide to assist States and municipalities that have been devastated by hurricanes and other natural disasters. The travel allows me the opportunity to meet with new an interesting people and see areas of the country I might have otherwise missed.
Most recently, I had 3 back to back assignments in Galveston, Texas providing assistance following Hurricane Ike. Galveston’s a very picturesque island community and I was able to take a lot of photographs in my free time. My new friends in Galveston did me the honor of purchasing some of my better shots for display in two hotel lobbies there.
I’ve been asked to contribute to Dads of Divas because of Amazon.com’s release of my new book, “For What It’s Worth, Love Dad: Things I Always Meant To Tell You if Only We’d Had the Time”. The book is a collection of essays and stylized open letters to my children, recounting some of the special moments we’ve shared over the years. Some of these are funny, and some are more serious. The book also includes what I’d refer to as life lessons. And these fall under that category of things I’d always meant to tell them.
2) Tell me about your family
My wife and I have been married for 35 years. We moved to our current home in New England, 27 years ago. At the time, we were looking for (and found) a place where we felt we could raise our children safely. We have 3 grown children, the eldest (by my first marriage) is 42 and the youngest (by the second and last wife I’ll ever have) just became the last to get married and will turn 30 soon. I might make the wedding “experience” a subject in the next book.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
Tough question…How do you pick one challenge that could apply to 3 kids over 42 years? My eldest by my first wife turns 42 this year. She came to live with us when she was 14. Her baggage included all the resentments and vitriol her mother had infused her with over those years. With her I’d say that the biggest challenge was to set aside any need to defend myself against unfair accusations and let her learn by example that she could have a life that was better than her mother had envisioned for her.
My second eldest daughter was as independent as the first. Unlike her sister however, she had been bestowed with confidence and commitment. With her I’d say my biggest challenge has to be a tie between; holding myself together when we thought we might lose her after a car accident and; smiling encouragingly, (while ignoring the impulse to scream) when she took our teachings to heart, married a fellow from Australia and moved 17,000 miles away to Tasmania.
For my youngest…my son, it would be the day after he was born when I realized that raising daughters had been a cake-walk. Little girls have always loved their Daddy. But with a son, I was suddenly hit in the face with all of the hang-ups, rebellions, and resentments I had forgotten about between me and my father. Plus, I was suddenly burdened with the task of being a male role model. Believe me it was quite intimidating at the time. The challenge with him was to be always aware of the adoration he held for me. And the responsibility I had to him to never be unworthy of that adoration. The rewards have been well worth the effort by the way.
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
Another tough question… Does anyone out there remember “The Lone Ranger”? Of all the TV heroes of my childhood, Clayton Moore playing the Lone Ranger stuck with me. With his faithful companion Tonto, he’d ride into tough situations each week. With a minimum of force and verbiage, he’d right the wrongs and then, before anyone had time to thank him, he’d ride off into the sunset.
I always try to remember that, in my family at least, I’m not the star. I’m not trying to downplay my importance or indulge in any false modesty here. But really, my job as a Dad is to help prepare my kids for what our parents used to call the “real world”. I’m not here to be worshipped or looked up to. Respected, yes…but only as long as I earn that respect. And in my home that means doing as little as possible. That said I’m always there when needed, though. I don’t always give what’s asked for…but I always try to provide what’s needed, and that is usually guidance. I don’t fix my children’s problems for them. I help understand what the problem really is (‘cause they don’t always seem to know) and then I help them develop solutions.
One other bit of advice would be to leave your baggage at the door. Whatever day you had at work, whatever troubles you may have had when you were growing up, whatever the money issues are, none of that is relevant to the recipe needed in preparing your child for his or her future.
5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.
Finally, an easy question (at least for me). I’m sixty years old! My kids are grown and on their own. That said, I’m kind of like a Father in Active Reserve. I get called up now and then for consult on adult thirty-something issues now. It’s gratifying to know that though they don’t need me as much, they do still need me occasionally.
But for those of you who don’t have the immediate benefit of my advanced years, let me say this:
Work to live…don’t live to work. When you find that the demands of your family and friends are interfering with your job it’s time to take the family on a vacation because you have obviously misplaced your “Most Important Things In Life” list.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
Ahhh ! No secret to this one. Whether we admit or not, we dads are a bunch of twelve year-olds trying to be grown-ups. Hopefully, your kids can resurrect that Peter Pan in you… That’s kind of what happens at Christmas to some extent. We get to relive our youth through the joy in our children’s eyes.
7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?
I’ve been a lot of things in my life. I’ve been a kid, a hormonally stimulated teenager, a cocky know-it-all thirty something, and I’ve felt the fear of death for my child. Somehow, we survive these things. And in that survival, we discover what’s really important in life.
7) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
As you’d expect, there’s been a number of those memorable moments. But for me, my immediate response was the mental image of my kids leaving for that 1st day of school. It marked the beginning of their real world life and though I didn’t realize it at the time, it also started the stopwatch that would send them out on their own for good.
If you have any questions for Bruce, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!
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1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge) 
Learning what is the 20% of really important material and how to ignore the 80% of what will be forgotten. While I’m learning not to focus as much on the trivial, I need to keep the black and white core values (being honest, respecting everyone, and doing your best) out in front of the girls even when they are learning the world is painted with many shades of gray.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father? 
5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
The solution we came up with was that I would fly to the first show then rent a car and finish the tour. That way my van stayed parked in the driveway and with the door to my bedroom closed Griffin thought I was in my room asleep. Whenever he would ask, he would be told “Daddy’s asleep”. Since he was at school most of the time he accepted that explanation and the two weeks passed without a ripple. Creative parenting is essential in a household like ours!
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
1. Tell me about yourself:
3. Largest Challenge you have had in being a father:
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?
My name’s Dan Tynan, I’m a writer based in coastal North Carolina. I write a lot for national magazines and Web sites (most recognizably Family Circle, where I’m a contributing editor). I write mostly about technology but also about education, parenting, privacy, politics, and humor. I’ll tackle pretty much any topic somebody throws at me, so long as the checks don’t bounce.
1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)
