Dads in the Limelight Archive

Our 231st Dad in the Limelight is Torkona Exon. I want to thank Torkona for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

I am a rare beast in Australia, I own a Dad blog.  There really are only a handful of us.  I am a working dad, bringing in the bucks in the day and playing with my son at night.  With my blog, I throw in a few things about gaming, jokes, gift ideas for dads, my strange views, that’s me in a nutshell.. (no this is me in a nutshell: Argh! I’m in a nutshell!).

Oh yes, and I say strange things that usually only I find funny!

My family consists of 4. My wife, myself, my 1 year old boy and my smelly dog that licks things and is well overdue for leaving the house and getting a job.

When my child stopped breathing on me.  It is easily the most dreadful moment any parent could ever conceive. The days/weeks afterwards of tests and overnight hospital stays to why he had trouble breathing is included in this challenge.  How I got through it I will always have trouble explaining, but the one thing I now have is a growing baby that now breathes normally like any other. He was found to have a condition that he simply grew out of.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

If you are away in the day, always be the one to put your children to sleep.  It’s a time you’ll always cherish throughout the years, even during the screams.

Well, to me, Parenthood and outside life are the same thing.  There is no difference.  I am the same parent behind closed doors and in front of them. Sure my wife and I might organize a baby sitter whilst we have a few drinks with friends or have a dinner date, but I’d never separate myself from being a parent now to what life used to be like before being one.

Wow, this is a great question. I honestly don’t know if I have learned anything. That sounds bad, but the time spent with other dads we’re mainly whining about how annoying our wives are or talking about that local sporting team we support. Wow, that’s even worse hehehe.  I’m not saying I know everything or that no other fathers could ever teach me anything. I guess it’s just being wrapped up in my own kid to notice other fathers raising their children different to mine. Probably once my boy is older, as he is still very young, I would suggest my learning from other fathers would increase dramatically. It’s a good point and something I think I should improve upon.

What this father that works during the day waits for is that massive smile on their kid’s face when he returns home from work. I know this is probably obvious, but nothing gets me down when I see my boy smile.  After having the worst day possible, my kid will make me wonder “why worry?” as soon as I step through that front door.

The moment my boy was born.  I remember looking down on him only a few minutes old and even though he couldn’t speak a word, my boy looked back up at me and mouthed the words “wow”.  I’ll never forget it.  Wow yourself little champ
If you have any questions for Torkona, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

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Our 229th Dad in the Limelight is Ordinary Parent Blogger Jason Ross. I want to thank Jason for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.

My Name is Jason Ross and I became a first-time father in 2011 when my wife and I welcomed our daughter Abby to the world.  I’ve been dating my wonderful wife Lauren for 11 years and married for almost 5 of those years.

Why am I in the limelight? I decided to start blogging on ordinaryparent.com as a creative outlet for all the adventures parenting has brought to my life.  Balancing running the blog along with my full-time job and full-time parenting is a new and fun challenge I look forward to continuing for a long time to come.

I’m 28 years old, and my daughter is turning 1 in March.  I’ve been married for almost 5 years to an amazing woman and mother.  I look forward to welcoming more children in the future, but I’m thoroughly enjoying time with my only daughter right now.

The biggest challenge for me would have to be knowing what to do in different situations.  It is amazing how a parent can’t differentiate between different cries and pouts, but knowing how to help my daughter isn’t always easy.  I’m very lucky to have a wife who is a great mother and is constantly researching about the next phase of our daughter’s life and how to handle the various situations that come up.  I don’t want to say that I’d be totally lost without her knowledge, but I certainly wouldn’t be doing as good of a job without her.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

The main piece of advice I would offer to other fathers is to just get involved.  Get involved with the diapers, the dishes, the comforting, the learning…really anything that you can think of.  As the father of a young daughter I’m happy to have alone time with her to figure things out on my own, and elated when I see her learning new things.  But that elation is only possible when I’m involved enough to know what she’s doing for the first time and see how much she is growing.

It’s been a surprisingly easy transition from married-life into married-with-children life.  My wife and I are fortunate to have several other friends who have had children recently, and that certainly helped the transition.  We continue to hang out with friends and go out to dinner regularly, and still manage to go out on our own form time to time.  When I want to go play a round of golf, my wife will stay with Abby.  And when my wife want to go hang out with some old friends, I have daddy-daughter time.   Working together with my wife and our family, we are able to be full-time parents in addition to our jobs and hobbies.

One of the things I learned from other fathers is to try to take it all in.  Everyone always says “they grow up so fast,” but seeing it first hand and being able to share in this parenting journey with my dad, father-in-law, and granddad is incredibly rewarding.  I get to hear about not only my childhood a little more, but about the childhood of my parents other relatives.  I hear about their memories of early parenthood and it helps me to appreciate my own experiences even more.

The first couple months were the biggest adjustment I think I had to make.  After that, I think you really start to pick up on things and know how to handle different situations.  It’s true that you will be able to distinguish between the various cries of your child, and little things like that can’t be read in a book or on a blog.   It has been an incredibly rewarding experience so far, and I look forward to being just as involved, if not more involved, than I’ve already been.

What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

The thing I remember the most is the joy on the faces of family and friends as they met our daughter for the first time.  My family had only boys in the family for 50+ years, and a daughter/granddaughter/great-granddaughter/niece was not only a welcome change, but a wonderful blessing.  Being able to share her pictures as she grows and seeing her interact with her grandparents and great-grandparents always brings a smile to my face (and a camera to my hands).

If you have any questions for Jason, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

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Our 228th Dad in the Limelight is author Rick Kamal. I want to thank Rick for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

Until a few years ago, both my wife and I had successful careers as executives in large companies. But one troubling trend we saw was that students entering the workforce just weren’t prepared. They lacked the skills and strategies to compete in the new economy. So we decided to leave our former careers and found EduNova [link to www.edu-nova.com] to help reverse this trend and prepare middle school, high school and college students to excel in school and succeed in their careers. We leveraged connections with leading university education experts and successful senior executives in developing systems and resources to help students to lead and thrive in the global economy. We then created www.HowToStudyBest.com to give students and their parents a place to go to find the tools, strategies and resources to help them succeed. It has been very rewarding and exciting to start something that we believe can make a real positive impact on the lives of young people and the direction of our nation.

It is somewhat ironic that life has taken us here. Prior to EduNova, one of my favorite and most prominent roles was an executive position managing the nations largest online retirement system. It is used by over 20 million Americans and serves as a gateway to nearly a Trillion dollars in retirement funds. The mission was to prepare Americans as they leave the workforce so they can enjoy a prosperous retirement. EduNova now has completely changed the focus. Now the mission is preparing young people to enter the workforce with excellent skills and succeed in their careers.

On the personal front, I love to play piano with my daughter, workout at the gym with my wife, travel with my family, and compete with neighbors for the best landscape and garden on the block.

2) Tell me about your family

I was born and raised in theU.S., but had a lot of ties to the traditional values of my parents who were fromIndia. So I opted for an “arranged marriage” when the time was right. The way arranged marriages work for us is that a matchmaker, usually a friend of the family who knows about the girl and guy, will suggest the possibility of a match. The girl and guy meet and if they like each other they decide to join for life. My personal version of the “arranged marriage story” took place I was in my early twenties. One day I told my parents I was ready for marriage so they went ahead of me toIndia. A few weeks later I followed them there for a two-week trip. On the third day there I met my future bride, Teena. She was the first girl I was introduced to on my trip, and from the moment I saw her I knew I really liked her. I could see that she was a very deep person, and she was unbelievably beautiful too. A few days later we met one more time and during that encounter we decided to say yes. Long story short, within a week we tied the knot!

We enjoyed being together so much that we didn’t think we would ever have children. We didn’t see the point and neither of us could relate to it. But after a really enjoyable decade of marriage a light switch went off in both of us, and we felt like we should. And then came our lovely daughter, Arianna, who we are both crazy about.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Our daughter Arianna, who is now six, had some particularly unique qualities from the start. She exhibited signs of being able to read at 7 months old – before she could even fully speak! When she finally could speak a few months later, we found that she was in fact able to read extremely well. It was somewhat bizarre. Based on the recommendation of some friends, when she was four we had her tested and found out that she was classified as being profoundly gifted across a very wide spectrum. Though many view it as a blessing, and it certainly is, it comes along with a great number of challenges and responsibilities. We’ve had to spend lots of time finding the right schools, programs, and activities to keep her challenged and growing at an intellectual level. All the while, there is a need to balance that with developing her socially among peers her age.

As parents we often have to remind ourselves to be patient when certain situations arise. Her focus is still that of a six year old so it can be a particular challenge for us as to why she doesn’t do certain things that she can “intellectually” understand that she should do. Fortunately, she is very patient with us.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

As dads we all have so many lessons we’ve learned. These are two of many thoughts that I daily remind myself.

First – Cherish your child as much as you can in the present moment. Life is too short and the years pass before you know it. Don’t waste one day. Express your love to your child today, and as often as you can. Tell them you love them, hug them, play with them, listen to them, and talk with them. Show them you love them by spending as much time as you can with them. It will mean giving up certain things, but it is definitely worth it.

Second – Always remember that everything you say or do is a lesson to your child. You are their most important teacher and model. The ways in which you act or react are the ways in which they probably will act and react. So be (or become) the person you want them to be.

5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.

It comes down to managing priorities. I believe that most of our worldly pursuits will ultimately pass away. The only thing that will last is the love and connection we have with loved ones. If my loved ones really matter, it means you I need to put some things on the back burner to make time for them. So rather than have my Arianna travel in a carpool to school, I spend the time to drive her to school so we have some 1:1 in the car where just the two of us can talk. It means rather than reading the paper, spend time with Arianna doing homework or practicing the piano together. In the evenings it means spend time with her at sleep time to tell a story or read together. The impact and joy of those times together will last forever. The rest will fade.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

Two fathers really influenced me – my dad and my father in-law. Both have been really strong examples. They have demonstrated how patient a parent should be with their child – they never lose it. They have shown me how the pride of a parent in a child can positively motivate the child. Also they regularly exemplify how a parent’s encouragement can make their child a better person. Even at this age, if I ever need a dose of inspiring energy, I go to them and tell them a small personal accomplishment and watch how they beam and express amazing joy. Their energy then energizes me to achieve more. Their strengths are an inspiration and are attributes I try to emulate with Arianna.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far

I never imagined the amount of influence my actions and attitudes can have on my child. She soak up everything, even the subtlest things I say or do. Kids digest it all and develop their own view of the world. On the one hand it means we need to be really careful to not let our shortcomings negatively impact our children’s worldview. But on a more positive note, it means we have tremendous leverage to inculcate the types of values we want in them by positive reinforcement at an extremely young age. With just a few regular comments and actions I can see my daughter is so aware of being sensitive to the needs and feelings of others, taking care of the environment, having a balanced view of money, etc. In fact, as her positive worldview has developed, it has started working to influence me as parent to become a better person. I have become much more concerned about my neighbor and our environment because of Arianna’s comments and attitudes. It really is a virtuous circle.

What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

The most powerful and memorable experience was the birth of Arianna. It was absolutely miraculous. My wife, Teena, had to push only three times and our daughter, Arianna, suddenly appeared in the world. She didn’t cry at all and when she was placed in Teena’s arms she was amazingly alert. She locked her eyes into Teena’s and then locked onto mine. Arianna would look back and forth at us making unbelievably deep eye contact. It was as if she was connecting with us at a very deep level from the moment she entered the world. It was unbelievable. Her eyes and attention didn’t wander anywhere else. I think about that experience at least once a week. By God’s grace, since her birth the three of us have remained so close and connected as a family. I am very grateful to have our home be a real haven of joy. Certainly life has its challenges, but they are all worth it for the blessings of a peaceful home.

If you have any questions for Rick, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

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Our 226th Dad in the Limelight is author Larry Nichols. I want to thank Larry for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.

1)    Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

My name is Larry Nichols, and I am a retired Information Technology professional. After three years with Uncle Sam in the US Navy, I attended and graduated from NC State University with a BS in Applied Mathematics, minor in Engineering Mechanics.  My wife, Kay and I were married between my junior and senior years.

Math majors in 1965 were prominently being recruited by firms wanting computer programmer trainees, since the degree for computer science had not quite evolved then for many schools.  I was hired by Tennessee Eastman Co. in Kingsport, TN. During out time there our two children were both born there.  After four years in Kingsport we moved on to Celanese Corporation in Charlotte, a company that transferred me around a lot.  We lived in Charlotte twice; Greenville, SC: Bethel, CT (working in mid-town Manhattan; and Plano (working in Dallas), TX.

It was in Dallas that I became involved in Scouting.  While our son was in Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, and Explorer Scouts, I stayed involved as an adult leader.  I had three most memorable events with the scouting program.  The first was going through the Adult Wood Badge Training Program for adult leaders. I then became a trainer for other adult leaders in the district.

The second was going with the troop to the Philmont Boy Scout Ranch in Cimarron, NM, when our son was 14 years old and hiking together for 110 miles over a span of 10 days at an average elevation of 8,500 feet above sea level.

And the third was being with my son as he reached the level of Life Scout.

After leaving Celanese I spent the remainder of my career in various retail businesses in middle- and upper-management positions, often as the Director of Information Systems.  I retired from BI-LO, a large grocery chain in Mauldin, SC, in 2004, and after consulting for a year, I decided to hang it up.

That’s when my second career began.

I became a genealogist, historian, and writer.  As an IT professional I had developed my research and writing skills as a technical writer.  But then I discovered that I could write for fun and enjoyment, creating stories from family lore.  I wrote and published six books about different branches of my family’s histories. Then I decided to write an autobiographical account of my youth and the small cotton mill village where I had grown up in North Carolina. The book was titled: “Memories of Cramerton: A Cotton Mill Town”, and was first distributed in 2007.  And it has exceeded all of my expectations.

I then began developing a story that was to have been a biographical account of my dad’s youth.  But it became a much bigger project and developed into an historical novel about a fictitious family in South Carolina.  The title is “A Hobo Odyssey”, published by Warren Publishing, Inc., 2011.  It is a story about two young men, Steve and Eddie, from South Carolina who decide to visit Steve’s birthplace in SW Missouri.  It was 1935 in the peak of the Great Depression, and their mode of travel was hoboing on freight trains.  It is an adventure story, a mystery, a story of unrequited love, and about a schizophrenic serial killer who is tracking down and murdering hoboes on the very same route Steve and Eddie have taken.  Sales are strong, and I’m happy about the project.

2)    Tell me about your family

My wife, Kay and I have been happily married for 47 years. Our son is the oldest and is a confirmed bachelor. Our daughter has been married almost 20 years.  She and her husband have given us two wonderful grandchildren.  All live in NC.

3)    What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

I think that the greatest challenge as a father was, for me, being the right role model for my children.  I don’t think that anyone is perfect, so when one does wrong, one should hope that their children are not watching, because they generally follow whatever guidelines are set before them.  We always kept our children in church, and we didn’t just send them to church; we took them.

4)    What advice would you give to other fathers?

Besides setting a good example for their children to follow, I would advise them to give them an occasional pat them on the back and congratulate them when they excel.  And always support them in a positive way when they make mistakes.

5)    Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.

Even though my children are grown and out of the nest, so to speak, I try to keep them involved in my successes and share with them my concerns whenever my projects turn downward.  They always come through with positive reinforcement. And I always try to congratulate them on theirs.

6)    What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

I learned from my childhood idol – my dad (my mom was special, too).  He was always there for me.  He loved to tell stories about his childhood, good and bad, and he has been my primarily model for the writings that I have done since.

7)    What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

Having a wife who has stood by me through thick and thin.  She has always been a caring and calming influence in the way we raised our children.

8)    What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

Seeing my children succeed in life.  Our son is a very successful information technology expert, and our daughter is a highly regarded graphics artist for a regional magazine.
If you have any questions for Larry, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

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Our 225th Dad in the Limelight is author Will Corcoran. I want to thank Will for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.

1. Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers’ knowledge).              

Welcome To Three Candles

Indiana Author, Will Corcoran, captivates all readers with his inspiring book as he shares the compelling stories of two young children, both whom experience life-changing events as 3 year old boys. The first, his son Henry, was diagnosed with a rare, terminal illness – mitochondrial disease. Henry lives life every day to the fullest, never taking no for an answer, never complaining, and always seeing the good in things and people – a wise perspective all would be lucky to have.  The second, Will himself, survived unspeakable traumatic child abuse as a young boy, and can’t help but think that experience helps him understand and encourage Henry.  Two inspirational stories of survival – Will’s literal survival, and Henry’s desire to live life to the fullest – are stories of hope, faith, love, courage, and perspective.  Uplifting and inspirational.

I’m Will Corcoran.  On the professional side, I am an author, law professor, non-profit executive, speaker, businessman, professional coach, and lawyer by trade.  In law school at Arizona State University College of Law, I was honored to serve as the Editor-in-Chief of the law review.  After graduating, I was lucky enough to be selected as a judicial law clerk to a federal judge, the Honorable Barry G. Silverman, on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit.

After clerking, I entered private practice with a large, national firm – where I served as a partner and manager of the firm.  I have been recognized as one of the Best Lawyers in America and was given the highest peer review rating by both my colleagues and competitors for ethics and legal knowledge.  I was honored to serve as a judge pro tempore on both the criminal and civil benches in theArizona Superior Court.  And have enjoyed my time as an Adjunct Professor of Law at both Arizona State University College of Law and Indiana University/Purdue University Indianapolis.

I am also a professional marketing coach to businesswomen and men seeking to expand their business books.  I’ve had the pleasure of working with clients from across the country in building their personal and business accomplishments.

That is all fine and good, but my real accomplishment is my role as husband and father of four.  We have two 7 year olds, a 4 1/2 year old, and a 2 year old.  Two of our children are biological children, and the other two we adopted internationally.  If I had to put into words why I am, quite hesitantly, in the limelight – it’s probably because of our biological sons’ diagnosis with a rare terminal disease.  That, in itself unfortunately, is tragic but not uncommon enough.  But rather, it’s the valuable gift of perspective and humility that my kids have taught me in such a powerful way.  So powerfully that we started a non-profit to help terminal and special needs children that are not fortunate enough to get the medical treatment that will sometimes save their lives, and in all cases make it more manageable.  Our youngest, Henry (3 at the time), put it most aptly when we were in the hospital where we paid for pain medicine that was not covered, but his roommate’s parents could not afford:  ”His eyes are sad, Daddy.  We have to help.”  So, we did – with Henry’s Hope (www.henryshope.org).

And to the limelight, I’ve written a book about Henry and perspective.  Three Candles (www.threecandlesbook.com) is a story, and a lesson, that I think everyone – sick kids or not – can learn from or be reminded of from time to time.

2) Tell me about your family

You can read all about them in Three Candles (www.threecandlesbook.com), as I won’t do them justice here.  But, our oldest, Sammy, is a smart, sensitive, shy guy.  He is loving and compassionate – and likes to read and play sports.  Gracie, next in line whom we adopted from China, is just four weeks younger than Sammy.  She is the kindest, most thoughtful, and warm child.  She’s also a jokester, which sometimes only she (and her mom and I) appreciates.  But, that’s quite alright.  She’s also very helpful in playing nurse to our next son, Henry – helping him with breathing treatments and playing with him so he’s not pre-occupied with medical business.  She helps him be a kid.

Henry is a smart little firecracker – always wanting to play, have fun, or go on an adventure.  Though the person that I know that has the most to complain about, he never does.  He has a feeding tube, as he can’t eat any foods (except black beans, bananas, and grapes).  Henry’s the one that is always on the go and ready to do something – anything.  It’s almost as if he knows that he has to pack his adventures into a shorter time frame.  And, he’s taught us to oblige; something I’m convinced everyone should do.

We adopted our youngest, Hugo, from Ethiopia.  He is a happy, energetic, and gregarious two-year old.  And did I mention that he’s two!  Yes, he is.

My wife, Ann, is the light of my life.  She makes me smile, on the inside and out, and inspires me with her courage and strength each and every day.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Without question, the biggest challenge that we’ve faced is learning that two of our kids have this horrible mitochondrial disease.  It’s degenerative, and there is no cure.  But with challenges, we’ve learned that there is hope and perspective, and courage.  We’ve seen that in our kids, and they are great teachers.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

I guess that’s why I’m in the limelight – for this piece of advice.  It’s advice that I’d give to every father (and mother actually) – regardless of how old they or their children are.  It’s applicable to every parent.  That is, live each day to the fullest.  Don’t push off things that don’t have to be, or that you can do, with your kids.  Work will always be there, but a mid-week afternoon escape to the zoo with your kids is something that you will all remember forever.  Creating memories now – even for those that don’t have sick children – sounds so trivial and cliché.  But, it’s too easy to keep pushing things off and time passes so quickly; before you know it, the memories that you intended to create, you never did.  And by the time you think about it, it’s too late.

5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.

I’m very fortunate.  By no means rich or anything (in fact with medical bills, our finances are nothing to write home about).  But, we downsized.  Bought a much smaller house (one that we’re a bit cramped in), got rid of a car, don’t eat out like we used to, and are very frugal.  This has given us the ability to work part-time and spend time with the kids when not at work.  If you can do that, I highly encourage it.

We weren’t always that lucky though.  We couldn’t downsize before.  So, I did a couple of things.  First, I had a scheduled date night (not only with my wife), but with two of the kids each week.  The build-up for them is just as important as what we actually did (and sometimes that would be a packed dinner at the pond).  I also made a point to be home on the weekends, or at night during the week, or both.  Sometimes schedules just don’t let this reality happen, but when there’s a choice, I took it.  I remember one time where I knew if I worked longer, I’d get a promotion and it would only be a sacrifice for a few months where no one would see me at home – and that was for the kids, right?  Not in my case.  Because then, there was the next promotion and the next.  And I missed memories that I could not create.  Now, it’s never this easy, but I had to get to a point where I sat down and weighed options, choice values, and set boundaries.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

Fathers in today’s age are much different than even several years ago.  They want to be more involved, have a renewed perspective and focus on family.  Many I’ve run into often just struggle in making it a reality at work.  Some of the fathers that I coach have this issue, and we work through solutions together and make it happen.  Sometimes it’s gradual, but can happen.

I think my answers to 7 and 8 are throughout the above (where I hope I didn’t go on too long).

If you have any questions for Will, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

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Our 224th Dad in the Limelight is Chris Read. I want to thank Chris for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.

1)     Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

Hi everybody, my name is Chris Read and I guess I would consider myself a “Jack” or “Chris” of many trades. I am a father to two wonderful children first and foremost, Lucas – 4 and Julia – 2, but in my spare time I also have a full time job with the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, where I am a non televised version of a CSI. I am also a lead singer of a band called Sloppy Joe’s Revenge. Don’t look us up yet though, we are in the middle of a name change and are still fighting over the possibilities, LOL.

Aside from that, I am the President of a charity called The Gil Read Memorial Foundation. The foundation is named after my father, who left my life too early, and is geared towards providing funding for kids who can’t afford to take part in sports. My father was an amazing man and gave so much time to helping kids develop in sports, that it just made a lot of sense to do this and I’m proud of the work we’ve done to date.

I’m not tall, I don’t know how to fix a car or build a deck. I am not a perfect father but I try to be the best I can be. If the toilet seat is left up, it was most likely me and I watch a lot of reality television. I guess those would be some flaws of mine. I’m not sure there is enough space to do a full list.

Oh yeah, I guess I’m a blogger and writer now too! I started Canadian Dad about a month ago and have loved every minute of it. I am currently working on a children’s book based on a character my son made up and I have some fun ideas for videos in the near future.

2) Tell me about your family

My family originated at a karaoke bar. That’s where I met my wife Kristine of course. From the moment she heard me sing that first Backstreet Boys song, she was hooked! The rest is history.

After 7 years of dating, I decided it was time to get married (I know, I know, I’m a jerk). I think I made up for the lapse in judgement with an excellent proposal but that’s a story for another time. Pretty soon after we got married, we had 2 kids in less than 2 years and that brings us to today.

My children are my reason for being. As mentioned above, I have a 4 year old son and a 2 year old daughter and I love every freckle on them. Fun story about my daughter, my father’s side of the family hadn’t produce a female spawn in over 85 years before Julia came along. Crazy right? 4 brothers (Dad plus uncles) had 2 boys each and finally I am the one who broke the curse.

It’s a blessing and a curse as it were because not only do I not have my dad to consult, but none of my family know anything about raising girls. It’s made for some interesting moments.

My son is a curious fellow. He likes hockey one day and hates it the next. Same thing with soccer, tv shows, toys, food and games. He is hilariously funny, just like his dad, and he loves his sister, which makes Mom and Dad proud.

My daughter, obviously like most daughters from what I can tell, is also a Diva. At 2 years old, she controls not only her parents and brother but also her entire group of day care children. It’s fascinating and petrifying at the same time. I’m lucky to have found an incredible group of Dad bloggers to help along the way.

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Aside from the obvious answer of not knowing anything about how to raise a daughter, I think my biggest challenge so far, has been trying to raise kids without having my father around to help out. I mentioned that my father had left us too early but left out that he passed away on the same day that my wife and I found out we were pregnant. I couldn’t have written a better or worse script if I had tried.

I went through a very dark time and essentially missed the first year of my son’s life because I was suffering from a pretty severe depression.

I don’t know what snapped me out of it. It certainly wasn’t the pills or the therapy. I think it was my son and the realization that I don’t want to be a Dad who lets his kids down. I want to be a man that he can look up to, much like my father was to me. Ever since that day, I have done my best to be the best dad I can be and I think I’m doing an okay job of it.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

I think the biggest pieces of advice I can give are as follows:

1. Be Around. We all have things that we loved to do before having kids. For me, it was singing and playing sports. I still do those things but I am a Dad first and a singer and athlete second now. Kids love their Daddies and need them to be around to teach them everything. Literally, I mean everything, they don’t know how to do anything. Make time to be there for them and create a hobby schedule around that.
2. It’s Okay To Be Goofy. I see a lot of Dad’s who don’t like to play goofy games with their kids. Almost as if they are embarrassed of what other people think. Don’t be embarrassed! Kids are goofy by nature, let them be goofy and show them that you can be that way too. They’ll love it! All you have to do is look at any of our family’s Halloween pictures to see that I have fully embraced my goofy side.
3. Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help. We’re not perfect. We’re going to make mistakes. If you get to a place where you don’t have all the answers, which you will, don’t be afraid to ask questions to other Dads. You might be surprised to find that you are not alone out there.

5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.

In short, I’m still figuring it out. My wife runs a home day care and I work shift work. Not like days and evenings work either, I’m talking 24/7, which makes for a crazy life schedule. Add on singing, sports and my wife and kid’s activities and we are all over the map.

We try to plan everything well in advance and I give all the credit to my wife, who is an absolute planning genius. I wouldn’t be able to find pants to wear without her, so you could imagine what my kids would be wearing.

We do the best we can with what we have to work with but we’re far from perfect.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

I’ve learned a lot from other Dads. I only started blogging about a month ago but I’m already making great connections and have learned that there are others just like me, who find humour in the same silly things our kids do.

I’ve also learned from Dads that aren’t so involved in their kid’s lives. They make me realize the importance of being there for my kids and making sure they know that Daddy can be fun on top of being the Daddy who enforces the rules.

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

There is no experience I’ve had in my life that is greater than having kids. It is rewarding, frustrating, humbling, exciting and devastating all in one tiny package.

I’m reminded every single day when I come home from work, when my kids run to the door yelling “Daddy, Daddy!!!” and throw themselves at me with running hugs. In that instant, there is nothing else. No stress, no anger, no tired. Nothing but love.

Enjoy every minute of it, they grow up very quickly.

What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

All of it. The ups and the downs. The ability to heal a wound with a single kiss. Snuggling a sick kid, even though you know it’s going to make you sick but not caring because it makes them feel better. The first time they say I love you without being provoked. The first time they win a race on Wii MarioKart and run to give you a hug and a high five.

There are so many moments and every one of them has been special in its own way. I am truly blessed with what I’ve been given and wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Thanks to Dad Of Divas for giving me this opportunity. It has been fun and even enlightening to take part and it’s nice to be in such good company.

Cheers!

Chris from Canadian Dad

If you have any questions for Chris, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

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Our 223rd Dad in the Limelight is Gil Michelini. I want to thank Gil for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.

1. Tell me about yourself:

What has brought the limelight to me was the publication of my first book in May 2011, which I was honored to have the Dad of Divas review.

I wrote Daddy, Come & Get Me: a dad’s adventure through a Guatemalan adoption as a memoir of adopting my youngest daughter from Guatemala to give glory to God through my story and to encourage men to consider adoption and orphan care. Included with my tale is a plausible story of what my daughter’s birthmother went through to place her for adoption. I based La Historia de una Madre (A Mother’s Story) on the official adoption documents and the assistance of those familiar with the Guatemalan culture.
For 23 years, I’ve been married to my college crush. Fran and I met at Ball State University in Muncie, Indiana while studying television production. We live near Indianapolis.My day job is designing training for the clients of ACS, a division of Xerox.2) Tell Me About Your Family

I am the father to four daughters. To answer a frequently asked question, the older three are Fran and I’s biological daughters.

Daughter 1 (Anna) graduated from high school this past June. She moved out in October and is adjusting to adulthood while holding down a full-time and part-time job and fighting with her car.
Daughter 2 ( is a high school junior. She is active in show choir and theatre, following in her mother’s footsteps.

Daughter 3 (Celia) is in eighth grade. She played clarinet this pass fall with the high school marching band and looks forward to four more years in the band.Mara)

Daughter 4 (Gemma) is in fifth grade. She enjoys anything that does not involve sitting down. Her favorite activities are cheerleading and gymnastics.

 

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Learning what is the 20% of really important material and how to ignore the 80% of what will be forgotten. While I’m learning not to focus as much on the trivial, I need to keep the black and white core values (being honest, respecting everyone, and doing your best) out in front of the girls even when they are learning the world is painted with many shades of gray.

 

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Love your children’s mother. Fran and I struggled in our marriage for the better part of 10 years. Because we (me) were not doing what was really important to a family and strengthening the marriage first, our parenting suffered. Once Fran and I were able to put our marriage first and parenting second, our family has become stronger.

This is not easy because it goes against what I believe men are taught to do in America. We only get one chance to raise our children so it seems to make sense to put our effort there while ignoring the marriage but—like a house—without the strong foundation of the marriage, the family built upon it will not be stable.

 

5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.

In Daddy, Come & Get Me, I mention the business I started during the adoption. The book ends before the readers learn what happen to the business. It did ultimately fail and took the family finances down with it. Just before it hit bottom, I was able secure full-time employment giving me a net to catch the family.

Since then, I spent time in prayer and journaling to figure out why I failed. Lack of balance was the biggest issue.

When I got serious about writing Daddy, Come & Get Me, I did a couple of things to prevent a second failed business through lack of balance.

First, I move my desk into an area just off the kitchen—the center of family activity. Previously, I was squirreled away in the back of the house so family life could go on “without bothering me”.

Second, I made changes to my schedule: I go to bed early and get up a couple of hours before everyone else. I use that time to work. When the family wants to watch TV, I go and work (except when the Packers are on).

A balanced life is ensuring all important areas get equal treatment. I need to write and be creativity for my own sanity. I need to spend time with my wife. I need to spend time with my children. I need to complete tasks around the house. And yeah, I need to keep my employer happy.

None of this just happens without planning. I have changed my schedule to get those first few hours of the day to be creative. Fran and I schedule dates. I block out time to be with one or more of the girls. I invite

(sometime demand) girls help me with the jobs so they can learn some of the basic skills and develop a decent work ethic.

Balance is not easy but worth the effort.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

Some guys are better fathers than dads; I want to be a dad.

 

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

While the girls may not agree now, spending money on experiences is a better investment than spending money on stuff. I remember Christmas mornings of my childhood more than what I got; however, the year when dad built everything out of wood is forever etched in my mind.

 

What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

• The three births and meeting Gemma for the first time.
• Burping contest at the table.
• Watching my little princesses grow into ladies.
• Being together.

 

If you have any questions for Gil, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

Also, do you know a Dad in the Limelight? If so, please email me their contact information so that they too can be a part of this series!

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Our 222nd Dad in the Limelight is Greg Hoffman. I want to thank Greg for being a part of this series. It has been great getting connected with him and now sharing him with all of you.

I’m a consultant in the affiliate marketing industry. I’m 41. Born and raised in Tampa, Florida. I’ve been in Atlanta now for 3 years. My previous job experience was in the Public Relations field and before that, journalism. In my current job, I’ve started two podcasts, one for each side of my industry, those that sell products (merchants) and those that promote the products (affiliates). I’ve been lucky enough to be selected as a speaker for the last 3 industry conferences. I also recently joined the long running podcast Geek Dads Weekly. I’m not ashamed of my geekness.

I was remarried 2 years ago and we have a blended family. I have two kids, a son, 13, and a daughter, 10. My wife Jen has two boys, 13 and 11. It’s been a challenged trying to blend the families as each child has a distinctly different personality and it depends on what time it is whether they get along. I see my kids quite often and spend as much time with them as possible. Since I work from home, I have to remember to not stay in front of my computer all the time while they are here.

The largest challenge was maintaining a strong relationship with my kids during the divorce. My ex had decided to relocate from Tampa to Atlanta and I was away from them for about 8 months. I struggled to find topics to talk about on the phone with them and would time the calls, always hoping for a new record. Conversations were generally one word answers because the distance just killed us.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Never give up on your children. Never walk away from them. Strive to be in their lives on a daily basis. Make sure they know you love them.

I’ve been trying to work on this for 2 years now and now that my business has grown, I have delegated more tasks to my support team. I’ve used this to not work past the dinner hours (too often). I’ve stopped working constantly on the weekends as well and the family has been getting out of the house more often lately. Even if that’s a two hour break to hit the comic book stores with the kids, I’m trying to work on that balance.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

I’ve learned that many do not have the perfect balance between work and home. They are either absent from their kids lives or they are consumed by their kids’ needs and  therefore do not have a clear business focus. I was that dad when my kids were younger. I admire those that do a good job until 5pm and then have a healthy family life.

I miss my kids when they aren’t with me and I want them to be quiet when they are with me. It’s an odd conundrum.

What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

Vacations are always great for lasting memories such as theme parks or trips back to Tampa and hitting the beach. But my favorite experiences have to be Saturdays. We don’t have to be up before dawn, homework can wait and we can plan out the activities. Do we have chores to do or can we jump in the van and go on a long drive through the North Georgia mountains for the day. Long drives are the inspiration for very in-depth, potentially life altering conversations between parents and kids. If electronics are off, you have the opportunity to capture their minds and talk about things you normally wouldn’t have time to think about.
If you have any questions for Greg, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!

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